If you look at the SheVibe product page for the Uberrime Titan or Uberrime Maximus, you’re greeted with cautionary capslock:

“NON-RETURNABLE ITEM: PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE MEASUREMENTS BEFORE ORDERING.”

It’s a necessary warning. These dildos are huge. Despite having large-ish hands, I can just barely wrap my fingers around the shaft. The Maximus (which is an inch taller) is as long as someone’s forearm.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t put two giant dildos into one little review. But the Titan (balls!) and the Maximus (no balls!) are identical past the base. And I think we can handle twins, don’t you?

uberrime titan and maximus design

These aptly named maximum titans were designed by SheVibe. Each one is made by hand in the Uberrime Dildos studio.

Because they both have a flared base, the Maximus and Titan are anal safe and wearable in a harness. If strap-on play is your focus, I’d specifically recommend the Maximus. Some harnesses don’t have the space to accommodate large balls.

The Titan is 8.5 inches tall (with 2 inches devoted to its hulking balls) and maxes out at 2.3 inches in diameter. That is substantially wider than the average penis or dildo (like the Uberrime Essential.) It comes in three skin tones (unfortunately titled after foods) and a greenish-blueish color.

The Maximus – which is 9.5 inches tall and also 2.3 inches in diameter – has a fitting match for Thanos’s presumably massive purple dick. (A purple Titan is pictured throughout this review, but it was an accidental one-off.) Like the Titan, it also comes in three skin tones.

These dildos are made of soft, fleshy silicone. Silicone is body-safe, which means it’s hypoallergenic and non-porous. You can wash it with soap and water, or sanitize it with a 10% bleach bath (or a quick water-only boil, if you’ve got a big pot.) If you intend to swap it between holes and/or partners, sanitizing it between uses is a good idea!

Once upon a time, I didn’t like realistic dildos. But I’m glad my preferences have changed, because oh my god the details on these dicks! Their heads are well-defined with a prominent crown and almost-gaped piss slit (which you can feel out with your tongue during BJ play.) The shaft is textured with skin wrinkles and bulging, branching veins. The veins aren’t over-the-top, but the skin texture covers every inch of this toy.

The Titan and Maximus are poured in shore 0050 silicone, which in non-nerd terms means it’s soft and squeezable, but not blubbery (like 0030.) It’s like a muscle. These dildos won’t wreck your hole – but they will definitely stuff you full.

our experience with these giant dildos

My partner Buster (who tests big insertable toys on my behalf) describes their ideal dildo thusly: big and squishy. The Uberrime Maximus and Uberrime Titan are perfect for them.

To take giant toys like these, you have to be fully aroused and relaxed. Warming up with smaller toys is essential. Whenever Buster’s in the mood for these big boys, we also grab the Franks Monster, Neo Elite 9 Inch, and a large bottle of Sliquid Sassy.

The Titan and Maximus have tapered heads, but only just barely. You’re getting a 2 inch diameter right from the start. Their squishy density makes them a comfortable fuck, but they can also be noodley until you get the shaft halfway in; thrust slow when you’re initially penetrating.

These toys provide a glorious amount of stretch. Buster loves using them vaginally. The thick, fleshy silicone wedges them open and rubs against every inch of their inner walls, including their g-spot. “It’s a huge toy and it can be overwhelming sometimes, it’s almost subspacey,” Buster writes in their notes, “You can’t get away from its size.”

Like most massive dildos, the focal point of the Uberrime Maximus and Uberrime Titan are their girth. But the surface texturing has its moments as well. Unlike the softer-surfaced Neo Elite dildos, the Titan and Maximus’s skin details are a constant presence. They slickly drag with every thrust (and necessitate reapplying lube during longer sessions.) Delicious!

I like hard, fast fucking, so when I’m handling the Titan or Maximus I have to be mindful of my angle to keep them on-track. There’s not enough room in the human body for such meaty shafts to bend over themselves, but the head can catch sometimes.

For slow thrusts, a deep see-saw movement is ideal to let the Uberrime Maximus or Titan’s deep curve do its job. The head’s crown and subsequent folds aren’t intense, but they’re not totally subtle either.

For science, Buster’s even tried riding the Uberrime Titan solo. They folded a pillow in half and let the Titan’s heavy balls keep it in place. They faced the balls towards their clitoris, which allowed them to rub off against the Titan’s skin texturing. (“That surprised me,” Buster writes, “Most toys, the balls aren’t big enough to reach.”) Because the toy is a soft density, it didn’t punch their cervix like a lot of giant dildos in that position.

uberrime maximus vs uberrime titan comparison

Which one should you buy? Unless you’re keen on the balls for aesthetic appreciation or (giant-sized) realism, my answer will probably be the Uberrime Maximus Giant Dildo.

Yes, Buster can rub off on the Uberrime Titan’s balls when riding it. But otherwise they’re kinda in the way. They’re harder to hold than the Maximus’s simple base, especially if you have small hands or limited wrist strength/mobility. They’re heavy, weighing down the toy in-use unless you hold them with your thighs. If you choose to face the balls upward for an easier grip, it turns the toy’s g-spot/prostate curve in the wrong direction.

(“The balls are so cute though,” Buster says when I send them this review to proofread. “Make sure to say if you want one for riding, the Uberrime Titan is better.” Done.)

There is also the issue of length. The Titan’s balls rob you of several inches. This doesn’t matter if you’re buying one for vaginal use. (In fact, the Maximus’s excess can pose similar logistical challenges as Titan’s balls.) But if you’re choosing between the Uberrime Maximus and Uberrime Titan for anal depth play, that’s something to keep in mind.

When it comes to which is easier to store, that depends on your needs! If you want your dildo to double as décor, the Titan’s balls provide a stable foundation for it to stand upright. Maximus’s lack of balls makes it easier to lay on top of other sex toys in a drawer.

final thoughts on these giant dildos

These dildos are huge (seriously, please look at the stock photo with a pop can for comparison), fleshy-soft, and textured all over for a thorough fill. Girth enthusiasts probably need no further convincing; girth-curious folks might want to slow down and check out the beefy Neo Elite 9 Inch first.

At about $140 USD, the Uberrime Titan and Uberrime Maximus are a pricey purchase. But because they’re made of silicone, they’re durable, sanitizable, and will essentially last a lifetime. It’s an investment: the royal yet loyal giant dildo that reigns supreme in your toy chest, ready to stuff you like a Christmas stocking whenever you’re in the mood.

(I just wish I had a strap-on harness sturdy enough to accommodate the Uberrime Maximus. I really need to invest in an Aslan Minx Harness and a set of Tantus O-Rings…)

If you’re up for the challenge, you can find the Uberrime Maximus Giant Dildo and Uberrime Titan Giant Dildo on SheVibe.

Thank you, Uberrime, for providing the Maximus and Titan in exchange for an honest review . I consider Marco (Uberrime’s founder) a friend, but that doesn’t influence my opinions of their toys except to give me additional insight and appreciation for the artistry. I still hate the Amo (functionally, not aesthetically.)

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