My obsession with the Iroha Zen Silicone Mini Vibrator began in January of last year, a few weeks before I officially launched my blog. I was immediately charmed by its aesthetics – it looks like a cartoon cactus in a pot – but beyond Iroha’s initial promotional page, there was no information to be had. For months I scoured the internet, but the Zen hadn’t yet made its way onto the digital shelves of my favorite sex shops.

And then, suddenly, there it was on SheVibe! And for the attractively affordable price of $40 USD at the time of this writing. SheVibe was kind enough to answer my longing by sending me an Iroha Zen for review, capping off a year spent whining on Twitter about how badly I wanted to fuck the pretty but unavailable thing.

So what did I make of this attractively weird little vibe?

first, the iroha zen basics 

The Iroha Zen Mini Vibrator is a battery-operated vibrator made of soft, squishy silicone and ABS plastic, which means it’s body-safe and compatible with water-based lubes. It’s about 5 inches tall and 1.3 inches in diameter. That makes it suitable for vaginal penetration if you’re so inclined (but not anal because it doesn’t have a flared base.) The Zen has four settings – three steady speeds and one pattern – which are controlled by a single button on its base.

Iroha offers the Zen in three colors: Matcha (as pictured in this review), Hanacha, and Yuzucha.

it was love at first squish

The Zen is basically marshmallow. The pleated surface might look intimidating, but the silicone ridges are actually soft and yielding. The Zen has a firm core inside to house its motor, but the top half of the shaft has a plush outer layer that you can pinch and pull away from the core. The silicone’s pillowy surface is so malleable that it will sometimes take a few seconds to return to its original shape after you tug it.

It’s delightful, and a very satisfying fidget toy.

The Zen’s firmer core maintains the toy’s rigidity in use, so despite the squishy outer layer, my preference for firm pressure isn’t compromised. I can press the Iroha Zen Mini Vibe’s bulbous top half against my clit as hard as I want, and the plushness softens but doesn’t sacrifice the force. Despite preferring it that way, I’ll admit I was a little disappointed – I would have loved to play with a marshmallowy toy that was more pillow than pressure.

The rippled texturing is pleasant when utilizing lube, adding flickers of extra stimulation if I twist the Zen against myself in use. Without adequate slickness (bodily or otherwise) to ease the way, the ridges’ presence is a little jarring – like a subtle and unpainful scrape – when I move the toy, and basically unnoticeable when I don’t.

In density and texture, the Iroha Zen’s uniqueness isn’t as functionally impactful as I had hoped, but it’s certainly different from literally any other toy I own.

but honestly, I want a divorce

So here comes the bad news.

The Iroha Zen’s vibrations aren’t just mild, they’re weak. Its first steady speed is no more stimulating to me than a car ride; its third and highest steady setting is a paltry purr that can’t match the lowest vibration setting of any other toy I own. I am by no means power royalty (Buster is the wand vibrator hog in this house) but the Zen could be out-muscled by a slightly enthusiastic electric toothbrush.

It’s not all bad news, though. The Zen’s vibrations, though weak, are pleasantly rumbly. Rumbly motors (usually) massage vibrations past the surface and stimulate more of the clitoral complex; in comparison, buzzy vibes – like most cheap bullets on the market – just hum on the top of your skin and are more likely to cause tickling or numbness. Some people prefer buzzy vibes because of their shallow stimulation, but I’ve found that rumbling vibrations (usually) give me full, satisfying orgasms. It’s a genuine shame the Zen doesn’t have a few more levels. With some strength behind them, the Zen’s vibrations could be exquisite.

But while the Zen’s vibrations are weak, I don’t think the Iroha Zen Mini Vibrator is a failure. I just think it’s not for me. Or, I suspect, most people reading this review.

But my mom would love it!

that time I gave my mom a vibrator

When I first launched this blog, my mother was living next door to us and regularly barged into my house unannounced. I got tired of scrambling to hide whatever reviews toys I had laying on my table, so I told her about my budding little business. I even gave her a weak bullet vibe to try out when she seemed (uncharacteristically) interested.

“How did it go?” I asked her a day later, curious because she’d never used sex toys before.

“I threw it across the room!” she said vehemently, and sure enough, it had been chucked into a pile of blankets. At first I assumed she had second-guessed herself and had thrown it in disgust, but that wasn’t the case: “I used it for three seconds and it hurt. That is way too strong.”

I had offered her the bullet because as soon as I unboxed it I decided that it wasn’t worth reviewing – the vibrations were too wimpy. Yet here my mom was, saying it had been too intense.

Bodies, needs, and preferences vary widely. When I talk about whether I liked a sex toy or not, I try to be clear and descriptive about what influenced my feelings, so others can get a feel for how their own body might react to the same stimulation. In this case, I find the Iroha Zen’s vibrations to be incredibly weak. But there are people who need exactly that! For that reason, I definitely wouldn’t call the Zen a bad toy.

definitely not the dick for me

There is yet another way to use the Iroha Zen: internally. Unfortunately this is just another way for it to fall short for us. Because penetration is physically painful for me, penetrative toys have to be smaller and far more flexible than the Zen. And for Buster, the Zen felt like a dual density dildo with an especially firm core density. Clenching the squishy outer layer was nice – though they couldn’t feel the pleating texturing internally – but given its short length, it was difficult to hold or direct deep enough for the stimulation they wanted.

Not our cup of (matcha) tea. Zing!

But the inflexible nature of the Iroha Zen Mini Vibrator may make it useful for people with sensitive g-spots that are located closer to the entrance of their vagina. The Zen’s unyielding core will make it easier to specifically target your g-spot (unless you have a preference for curved toys), and its cushioned outer layer and gently rumbled vibrations won’t overwhelm you. Buster’s g-spot is behind their pubic bone, so the Zen didn’t stand a chance of working for them.

the care and cleaning of your soft potted cactus

The Zen is waterproof, which means cleaning is fairly straight forward. You can use a toy cleaner like Sliquid Shine, but a mild face-safe soap works just fine. To ensure the ridges are fully washed, I rub the flat of my thumb over them after working the soap into a light lather. This helps dislodge any fluids or flakes (depending on how long you put off cleaning it after use – I’m not judging you.) Rinse while still massaging the pleats with your finger, and you should be fine! Barely any fuss.

The Iroha Zen Mini Vibrator can be stored with other silicone toys. Silicone toys don’t “melt” each other on contact the way that toys made out of jelly, TPR, and other unsafe materials do.

The Zen requires two AAA batteries. Unfortunately, the battery compartment isn’t intuitive and its markers aren’t obvious; it took me awhile to get the hang of it. To change the Zen’s batteries, simply:

• Give the base a quarter turn to open it
• Check the white rim on the toy itself for a small black arrow
• Beside the arrow, put the first battery in negative-side up
• (As with most electronics, the second battery goes in positive-side up)
• Find the tiny square-shaped indent inside the black base
• Line it up just behind the arrow on the battery compartment
• Give it a quarter turn so the arrow and indent meet to ensure it’s clicked shut

so am I disappointed in the iroha zen?

In most ways, yes. I was hoping for a rechargeable vibrator with average vibrations that would look cute on my shelf and feel great on my junk – while it does look cute on my shelf, it’s of no use to me in any other context. But I’ll still be buying a second one, because I finally found a vibe that I think my mom will appreciate.

If you’re in search of a gentle and soft-but-textured vibrator, the Iroha Zen may be the cutie for you – but if you’re looking for a small, rumbly, and budget-friendly vibe that’ll do a little more than just whisper literal nothings to your clit, I’d suggest the equally cute Noje Fauna Mini Wand or Luxe Scarlet as alternatives. And if you’re looking for a toy with more texture pizzazz, try pairing the Dragon Claw by Uberrime with a dependable bullet vibe.

You can find the Iroha Zen Silicone Mini Vibrator on SheVibe for $40 USD at the time of this posting, or enjoy a leisurely scroll through their vibrator categories to discover new and interesting junk-rumblers for yourself!

Thank you, SheVibe, for sending me the Iroha Zen Silicone Mini Vibrator in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links were used in this post.