With the release of Goop Lab* – a Netflix docseries following Gwyneth Paltrow’s $250 million “wellness” brand Goop – folks are taking a second look at Goop’s short yet sordid history. Among its controversial wares? Yoni eggs, the polished crystals you can put in your vagina.

And those aren’t the only rocks you can use to get your rocks off. There are crystal dildos and butt plugs too.

Why put crystals in your vagina? Well, it depends on who you ask.

And what you believe.

what are yoni eggs?

Yoni eggs are typically made from polished crystal like jade, rose quartz, and jasper. (The prevalence of jade – or nephrite masquerading as jade – has made the name “jade egg” essentially interchangeable with “yoni egg.”) They are often sold as kegel exercisers with a spiritual twist.

Kegel exercises can be done without products by mindfully tensing your pelvic floor. But some folks find the weight and stimulation of kegel balls, yoni eggs, or vibrators makes it easier. These toys can be “worn” while doing other tasks (whether spicy or mundane.) That being said, gynecologists caution against using yoni eggs or other kegel toys for long periods, as doing so can actually cause pelvic floor fatigue.

Yoni eggs come in a variety of sizes (with small variations even within a product line, since they’re made from crystal) and weights. They’re sometimes heavier than silicone kegel balls, and some folks prefer their ultra-sleek surface over the often matte finish of silicone.

But that sleek surface isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Depending on the type of crystal used and the sealing process, some yoni eggs are porous. That means they can harbor bodily fluids, bacteria, or mold beyond the surface, where antibacterial soap, toy cleaners, or 10% bleach washes can’t reach. Yoni eggs with fabric strings are the most obvious offenders. The fabric fibers soak up whatever they come into contact with and can act like a tether for external bacteria.

“The Gemological Institute of America (GIA) says that quartz, rose quartz, and amethyst are typically nonporous because they’re single-crystal materials. But, they also note, the problem is that many factors can affect a stone’s porosity,” writes Kasandra Brabaw. For example, abrasions and fractures can occur during the manufacturing process. (These objectively gorgeous toys don’t come out of the earth shaped like eggs or g-spot dildos, after all.) Polymer filler can potentially seal these imperfections.

If you’re going to buy crystal sex toys, make sure you’re only purchasing them from a reputable maker who is honest about the materials they use and potential imperfections or risks. Don’t buy yoni eggs or other crystal sex toys from places like Amazon, Ebay, or Wish, where scam sellers offer impossibly low prices by using porous lookalike “crystals” and/or dubious manufacturing methods.

But then there’s the ‘spiritual twist’ that I mentioned earlier…

the (debunkable) benefits of yoni eggs

“These days, yoni eggs are pushed by tons of manufacturers and wellness blogs as an ancient solution for everything from vaginal tightening, to period cramps, to achieving better orgasms, to ending bladder leaks,” writes Brianna Flaherty. Arguably, these are the tamest claims made about yoni eggs. In researching for this piece, I read assertions that yoni eggs can do everything from cleansing the “toxic energy” supposedly festering in your vagina, to mystically rejuvenating your skin or various organs.

Chakrubs (who make crystal yoni eggs and dildos) even claims that using one of their products “removes blocks caused by sexual trauma,” a statement so heinous to me as a rape survivor that I have a hard time quoting it.

I’m not an especially spiritual person (I don’t even read my horoscope), but I don’t judge others for what brings them a personal sense of clarity and/or satisfaction. I do judge companies who sell their wares on the basis of magically fixing insecurities, pain, and trauma. “There’s no scientific proof that crystals have any significant effect on energy, emotions, or mental health. Don’t replace medical treatment for anxiety, depression, and other diagnosable conditions with crystals,” cautions Healthline. A chunk of crystal is no substitute for therapy and communication.

“The beauty of these statements is that they are broad/vague enough that you could never possibly know if they were true,” writes Girl on the Net in a scathing yet compassionate (to consumers) takedown of the jade egg fad. “This is why woo peddlers rarely offer direct and specific information about what their bollocks is meant to do. If they said ‘this jade egg will cure you of the flu after two uses of 15 minutes or more’ that would be easily disprovable, and you’d see through it really easily.”

“Gynecologists and women’s health professionals are not in agreement about the validity of these benefits,” Brianna Flaherty continues. “In fact, Goop was fined $145,000 in 2018 for making “unsubstantiated” marketing claims about jade eggs they were selling.” These claims included asserting that Goop’s yoni eggs could “balance hormones, regulate menstrual cycles, prevent uterine prolapse, and increase bladder control.”

Among the gynecologists publicly denouncing Goop’s claims about the power of yoni eggs was Dr. Jen Gunter, author of The Vagina Bible. Dr. Gunter wrote a number of blog posts directly refuting Goop’s marketing, including “Dear Gwyneth Paltrow, I’m a GYN and your vaginal jade eggs are a bad idea” and “Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP still want you to put a jade egg in your vagina.” While addressing the potential risks of yoni eggs (toxic shock syndrome and bacterial vaginosis, among others), Gunter points out “jade doesn’t have medicinal properties. […] If jade turns you on and that’s the only way you can get in tune with your orgasm that’s ok just don’t push a preference off as a practice.

“A jade egg could be used as a weight for Kegel exercises and it could be used for sensate focus, but so could many [other] things.”

According to some peddlers (including Goop), yoni eggs date back to “ancient China,” and have been held sacred by queens and concubines alike throughout history. “The concept of ‘ancient’ when discussing a medical therapy may give an illusory notion that the practice is, indeed, healthful, as it dates back over millennia,” Nina Shapiro explains in Forbes. Shapiro continues, “Dr. Gunter and her colleague Dr. Sarah Parcak, an archeologist, investigated whether […] vaginal insertion of a jade egg was an ancient Chinese practice. Their study of over 5000 jade objects in four major Chinese art and archeology databases found no vaginal eggs.”

Dr. Renjie Chang, OB/GYN, tells Healthline, “I am a gynecologist originally trained in China and I can testify that [the jade egg claim] is absolutely false. No Chinese medicine books or historical records ever mentioned this.”

can you use yoni eggs?

Skeptical (and scornful) as I may be, I still recognize that for many folks, the divine is more about the practice than the product. Yoni eggs’ history and health claims might be a farce, but the value of having an object you regard as impactful to your sexual journey is not. It doesn’t have to be an ancient Chinese tool, or something that “emits a soft, feminine energy of compassion and receptivity, increasing one’s capacity to give and receive love” (whatever the hell that means.) It can just be a pretty rock that you enjoy putting in your vagina, either for kegel exercises or for pleasure.

I think Dr. Gunter summarized it best (albeit with needless gendering): “If a woman wants to explore her sensuality with an aid of any kind that’s her call, but it is shameful to suggest that jade offers some kind of pussy power properties because it doesn’t. If jade is your specific turn on then great, but that’s no different than being turned on by […] candlelight, reading erotica, or watching The Proposal.”

When it comes to using crystal sex toys, I (neither crystal expert nor doctor) personally suggest caution. Regularly check the surface of your yoni egg or dildo for pitting or fractures you can feel with your fingertips. (And I say surface intentionally. Some crystals – like rose quartz – have “internal fractures that give it a cloudy translucence.”) Consider using a condom (or an internal condom for yoni eggs) to reduce risk, especially if you’re going to share your toy between holes or partners. If you’re experiencing or have recently experienced a vaginal infection, avoid use.

If you’re just after something sleek and pretty, consider a sturdy glass sex toy instead.

* This piece was originally commissioned in 2020. Since the client never published it, and I was recently reminded it’s been sitting in my drafts, I’ve given it a thorough dusting and am posting it here!

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