Triton is the Greek merman god of the sea. Appropriately, it’s also the name of this debut dildo from Closet Play Sex Toys, which has waves (heh) of ridges on its blue and gold shaft.

The Triton is a very handsome, elegantly designed dildo. Between uses, I leave it on my bedside shelf like a sex positive statue.

Closet Play Sex Toys is a relatively new indie maker. They’re an enthusiastic 3 person team, and their hand-made silicone dildos and plugs (including the giggle-inducing “Bangalorian”) reflect their sex positive nerdiness. Closet Play’s Australia-based shop (which ships internationally) also carries a few vibes and bondage sets to spice up your cart.

ordering from closet play sex toys

My Triton Dildo was shipped from Closet Play Sex Toys’ shop in sturdy, discreet packaging. (You can watch my breathless unboxing on Twitter.) The customs label called its contents “novelty toy,” which is vague enough not to raise eyebrows. Could be a cursed Funko Pop!

Shipping times between Australia and the US vary, so make sure that if your purchase is a gift, you order it a few weeks in advance just in case. At the time of this posting, Closet Play’s worldwide shipping was a flat $15 USD.

In addition to the two dildos I was sent for review, I received a pair of adorable drawstring storage bags. They’re printed with Closet Play’s geeky, joyful logo.

Admittedly, a bag labeled Sex Toys is not ideal if you’re hiding your goodies from snooping housemates. But it’s perfect merch for those of us who aren’t.

closet play triton dildo design

My Triton Dildo stands at 8 inches tall. Describing Triton’s width is a little more complicated, because the shaft varies in girth, and it’s oblong shaped rather than round. At the shaft’s widest point, it’s over 2 inches in diameter. That’s wider than the average dildo or penis (around 1.5 inches wide.)

Smaller sizes will be available soon.

Triton’s balls provide a sufficiently flared base that makes the toy safe for anal use. You can also use Triton in a strap-on harness. Since the balls are responsible for off-setting the Triton’s weight in an o-ring, I use a harness with a pocket for added stability.

At the time of this posting, Triton comes in one coloration: a bold spiral of glittery gold and blue. It’s done by hand, so the spirals aren’t perfectly proportioned. But coming from a relatively new dildo maker, I’m impressed with how great the lines are. I also love the visual reminder that this toy is a work of art.

The Closet Play Triton is made of what I’d call firm or medium-firm silicone. You can bend it over with enough force, and it has a little bit of give when you squeeze it, but overall it’s a pretty rigid toy. Being firm means Triton’s ridges are really noticeable in use. Texture lovers can rejoice!

Triton’s design is distinctly phallic, with a defined head and balls. The head is sloped and ends with a wide, stimulating crown on the topside. It’s almost cartoonish in shape, and I’m incredibly charmed by it. The shaft – which is roped with numerous ridges – swells out in a curve, with a central ridge lining the underside like a dorsal vein.

The balls have much subtler ridging than the rest of the toy. There’s also some lining on the sack near the shaft, probably a remnant from the 3D printing process that made the original sculpture. (Casts/molds are made from 3D prints so the maker can pour in silicone, creating actual usable dildos. You wouldn’t want to fuck the plastic sculpture!)

The rest of the silicone is smoothed down, but it does have a matte (draggy) texture that makes good lube a must.

let’s talk about those wavy ridges!

My partner Buster (who tests all the insertable sex toys for this blog) has been extra adventurous this year. While they generally prefer large and super soft dildos, they’ve been exploring firmer density toys.

Being firm highlights certain aspects of a dildo’s design. The Njoy Pure Wand, for example, was designed for intense g/p-spot milking. Being made of solid steel ensures that its deep curve is precise and unyielding, perfect for advanced g/p-spot stimulation.

The Closet Play Triton is all about the ridges, which don’t compress in use because of the toy’s medium-firm density. When utilizing slow thrusts, the smooth, swooping, shaft-hugging lines that make Triton so visually unique massage your inner walls in waves.

Buster prefers shallow, rocking thrusts, which allows them to concentrate on the Triton’s head and the first pair of ridges. These provide persistent but surprisingly nonabrasive g-spot stimulation when gliding over the urethral sponge. The slope of Triton’s shaft makes it easy to dip the dildo under Buster’s pubic bone, something we can’t say about a lot of dildos because their pubic bone is pretty steep.

The ridging is more prominent on the sides than the top of the shaft. This makes it less resistant/tuggy to thrust, and there’s fewer deep gullies for lube to get trapped in instead of slicking the toy. (That being said, given its ridges and matte finish, the Triton does need lots of lube!)

Another sea god in our collection, the squishy Aqua King, has a few thick spike-like ridges on its topside. These provide strong pops of stimulation instead of fluid rippling like Triton’s. I think the Triton’s ridging is friendlier to the average user.

the rest of the experience

There’s more to this merman than its ridges, however. The shaft is tapered at the head, and again towards the base/balls, to give the Triton a girthy oblong “belly” in the middle. This creates a sense of fullness, which is intensified by the fact that it’s medium-firm and has some resistance when you clench it.

Because Triton isn’t thick all the way down, that full feeling is pleasant but not the same as being stuffed. So if you prefer a consistent stretch, keep that in mind when you ogle Triton’s dimensions. If girth is great selectively and you’d appreciate some relief at your entrance and/or towards your cervix or sigmoid bend – there you go!

As the person who’s often doing the holding/thrusting, I really like Triton’s balls. They fit nicely in my hand, and the ridges on them give my fingers somewhere to fit. Even when my fingers are wet with lube (and they often are when we’re using the Triton), I feel confident picking up the pace because I’m not likely to drop it.

With faster thrusts, the Triton’s ridges almost seem to melt away. The main point of stimulation becomes the toy’s tapered head. The snubbed tip rubs and nudges as you move the Triton, its flared crown providing a similar (but much smaller) pop as the Aqua King’s spikes.

If you thrust the Triton straight-on, the head can feel kinda pokey. In our experience, the Triton should be rocked to follow the swoop of its shaft. Doing so better highlights the texturing, and it keeps the head and crown from catching. (We also tried twisting the Triton to experience the ridges as a swirl, but the oblong shaft isn’t well-suited for it.)

Another favorite way to use the Closet Play Triton is anally. In general, medium/firm dildos are easier for anal than super soft ones, because they don’t yield against tighter musculature. The Triton’s narrower head helps pry a well-prepped asshole open, allowing Buster to gradually take its girth rather than all at once.

The ridges are, of course, extra exquisite anally, if you like a lot of braid-like texture. But the fin-like ridge on the Triton’s underside (the faux dorsal vein) is much more noticeable too. For Buster, the head’s crown is a blessing if you go slow (letting it give little tugs to your hole) or a curse if you rush.

final thoughts on the closet play triton

The Triton’s design is well-conceived. Some of the choices (like its medium-firm density and prominent head crown) whittle down its customer appeal. But Closet Play clearly put some thought into how to make this toy functional for a range of people.

When smaller sizes become available, I think they’ll have achieved that.

Triton is for folks who want girth, but don’t want to be overwhelmed by it. Who want firmness, but with a hint of yield so it’s not a ramrod. Who want texture, but prefer that it be unobtrusive and consistently shaped. Who want a subtly curved shaft rather than a g/p-spotting hook.

Triton is the merman god of the sea. This dildo is the waves he rides in the middle: not as intense as a deep ocean swell, but more challenging than friendlier waters at shore.

You can buy the Triton Dildo exclusively from its makers, Closet Play Sex Toys.

This review is sponsored by Closet Play Sex Toys, who wanted to compensate me for my time as a fellow small business. My writing and opinions are my own and are based on my genuine experiences.