The Aqua-King Fantasy Dildo is as handsomely imposing as its inspiration: the ocean-mastering king of glossy page and big screen fame, Aquaman. Its girthy head is just over 2 inches in diameter, and it towers at an impressive 9 inches tall. It’s patterned with scales and awash in sparkling green and gold swirls. The inkspill appearance of its marbled coloring is entirely unique because each one is made by hand.

I feel like I need to repeat myself for the uninitiated: the Aqua-King is over 2 inches thick and 9 inches long. This fishy fuckable is big, it’s meant for experienced girth enthusiasts and big dildo aficionados.

As a fan of Arthur Curry, a resident of ocean-framed Florida, and a friend of the artist behind the studio that made the Aqua-King (Uberrime Handmade Dildos), getting my hands on this toy was inevitable. Aptly, the Aqua-King was sent to me by SheVibe, a comics-themed online sex shop… This review was truly kismet!

Luckily, it’s been a pleasure to write.

if atlantis was a lost dong instead of a city

The Aqua-King Silicone Dildo is among my favorite of Uberrime’s phallic designs. The hefty, arrow-like head is crowned by the first of three soft ridges that peak on the topside of the shaft for powerfully targeted stimulation. The shaft is scalloped with scales that were individually sculpted, a labor of love that’s partially obscured by the vividness of the silicone’s coloring.

There are a few very minor flaws in the scales; much like the suckers on Uberrime’s Dragon Claw, there’s a couple crannies that will need a little extra attention during cleaning, but they do nothing to mar the toy’s beauty. I’m especially fond of how the scales flower out at the top of the base, like a line of ribbon or fondant detailing on a cake.

The base itself is thicker and thus sturdier than most other makers’, as is the case for many of Uberrime’s dildos. As someone with cramp-prone fingers, this makes for an easier grip. I sometimes have a harder time getting the Uberrime Aqua-King into a harness, but once it’s in, the fat, flat-bottomed base makes for an great foundation that helps balance out the dildo’s heft. And great Neptune, is this thing hefty!

salt of the eath, squish of the sea

The Aqua-King is made of Shore 5A silicone, a soft density silicone that’s popular in fantasy dildos and squishier than dildos made by most “mainstream” manufacturers. (For example, most of the Blush Novelties dildos I own are around Shore 10-15A.) The Aqua-King Dildo can be bent in half, twisted up, or flopped about in a harness for vigorous pre-sex helicoptering.

This density was a great choice for the design. It’s a large toy, so the cushiony yield of its material makes it much more comfortable to be fucked with. It also prevents the ridging below the head from becoming abrasive notches; instead, they pop over your g/p-spot with every long thrust, firmly massaging rather than punishing your insides.

enough foreplay, how well does this fish fuck?

The Aqua-King is huge. My partner Buster – the only person in this relationship that can take such a big penetration toy – calls it “cunt-stretching.” (This is a temporary sensation, of course; vaginas aren’t loosened by large object insertion.)

Buster frequently emphasizes to me that the Aqua-King Dildo’s angular head is beastly in the best way when being inserted. “You feel accomplished when [the Aqua-King] pops in past the head, like taking a butt plug,” Buster says. The head fits snugly behind their pubic bone, with the protrusions beneath the head stroking their vaginal wall like soft but insistent fingers.

The notches pop back over your pubic bone and g-spot with longer thrusts, a thumpy sensation I can feel when fucking Buster with it by hand. (This makes setting a pace – and sticking to it – much easier for me as someone who loses rhythm pretty frequently.) Though the Aqua-King lacks the pronounced curve typically associated with g-spot toys, its girth and crown ridges make for pretty easy g-spot stimulation.

Constrastly, the less prominent ridges mirrored on the Aqua-King’s underside weren’t very noticeable to Buster.

Because the head is thicker than the rest of the dildo, your inner walls don’t get stretched as much by the shaft. When the Aqua-King Fantasy Dildo is being thrusted, your internal muscles stretch and contract, feeling almost gaped by the width variation. Buster loves this feeling, especially with this squishy density. The size contrast emphasizes the head and subsequent notches wedging you open.

The scales weren’t noticeable to Buster in use, which makes sense given how soft the Aqua-King is.

make me a deep sea daddy

I love using the Uberrime Aqua-King Dildo for strap-on sex, but it’s not perfect. It’s nearly perfect.

Its bulky base won’t suit every harness – even those with the necessary 2-inch o-ring – because it’s like a fat puck. (It technically doesn’t fit mine, but I force it into place because I’m rough on my wearables.) Still, the base’s heft gives me a more secure feeling than thinner and flimsier bases. That’s especially important given that its weight forces it into a downward-facing drape.

Though the Aqua-King’s density is our preferred level of squishiness, its size and straight length makes that flexibility a thrusting hazard when I’m not controlling it by hand. It can scrunch up or bend out of place with vigorous thrusts, and will occasionally flop out altogether despite how effective a hook the crown notches are. As with the base, I wouldn’t trade the density or the straight shaft for ease of use; as long as I’m mindful, neither become a problem. (Except for riding; the Aqua-King will bend as it pleases no matter our technique.)

I love fucking with the Aqua-King because its yielding head means I don’t have to worry about deep thrusts being too rough on Buster’s cervix. Despite my warning of its sometimes rogue bunching and flopping, overall it does stay in place – and with its weightiness, I tend to realize it’s slipped free before my partner complains, something I can’t say of other dildos.

The Aqua-King’s size will make it a delightfully absurd display for strap-on sex for people with smaller frames than mine. But for us, its length makes up for the inches sometimes lost to bellies and thighs.

keeping the oceans clean

Silicone dildos are very easy to take care of! They can be stored with other silicone toys (actual silicone, not intentionally misleading “silicon,” TPE/TPR, or jelly) as well as non-silicone materials like plastic, glass, etc. They can be washed with a face-safe soap (the handsoap on your bathroom counter works fine!) or if preferred, toy cleaner.

To sterilize the Aqua-King between partners (or if you want to go from anal to vaginal use), you can boil it in a pot for a few minutes, either by holding it with tongs or remembering to shift it regularly to avoid scorching.

The Aqua-King can’t be used with most silicone lubes (silicone lube can degrade silicone toys; you can patch test on the base if you’re really adamant about it.) Instead, enjoy your beau from beneath the waves with water-based lubes like the aptly named Sliquid Sea!

under $110 usd? it’s a mera-cle! 

In many ways, it feels as though the Uberrime Aqua-King was designed specifically for Buster: it’s big and girthy, made of squishy silicone, and has just enough pizzazz beneath the head to keep their vag well-stroked but not overwhelmed. It’s also long enough for comfortable strap-on sex, and has prominent crown features to help keep it from sliding out in use (though, as I said, it’s not always effective.)

Though the scale work is visually impressive, it’s the notches behind the head that are the highlight of this dildo. Whether or not the Aqua-King is right for you depends less on your affection for the ocean, and more on your interest in having your insides thoroughly massaged by the Aqua-King’s fat head and soft, rounded spikes.

The pricetag is hefty ($107 USD at the time of this posting) but this is a hefty dildo. In this case you absolutely get what you pay for: nearly a pound of effectively designed, beautifully hand-crafted silicone.

You can net an Aqua-King of your own from SheVibe, which is the exclusive carrier of this treasure of the trench.

Thank you, SheVibe, for sending me the Aqua-King in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links were used in this post. As previously stated, I consider the artist who created this dildo a friend, but that in no way influences my opinions on his work beyond having a greater appreciation for the craft itself.