When I asked SheVibe for some oral sex simulators to review, I didn’t expect much from the strangely named, tongue-shaped CalExotics Laguna Beach Lover. The marketing describes the Laguna Beach Lover’s tongue as “flickering.” In my experience, that just means the toy’s tip flutters a little from the force of the vibrations.

But the Laguna Beach Lover doesn’t “flicker.” It flaps!

That might sound like I’m being pedantic, but this tongue toy’s steady, mechanical bobbing is so much better than “flickering.” I’ve been masturbating to tentacle porn and Venom fanfiction since the days of dial up. This toy is the stiltedly robotic, budget-friendly incarnation of my daydreams.

the laguna beach lover clitoral vibrator design

The Laguna Beach Lover is from CalExotics’ California Dreaming line. The collection features uniquely colorful rabbits and vibrators that are all named after famous beaches. I think that’s a little weird, but it’s still better than other toy names I’ve encountered recently.

Like the rest of the California Dreaming line, the LBL is made of body-safe silicone and ABS plastic. Silicone is durable, non-porous (so it won’t harbor/grow gunk!), and can be safely stored with other actual silicone toys. It’s compatible with water-based and oil-based lubes.

The Laguna Beach Lover’s tongue is 3.5 inches long, and 1.5 inches wide (that’s about two of my fingers at its girthiest point.) The silicone is soft and semi-flexible, with tread-like texturing everywhere but the tip. The LBL’s handle is rigid but has a powdery-soft silicone finish.

My biggest complaint about the Laguna Beach Lover is the reflective plastic detailing on the handle. It creates a seam that lube and vag juice can get into. At least it’s waterproof, which – in addition to making bath time fun – makes it less harrowing to wash.

The Laguna Beach Lover offers two forms of stimulation: vibration, and tongue wagging. You can use both simultaneously, or one at a time. There are 3 buttons to control the functions: power on/off, tongue, vibrations. Thank you, CalExotics, for giving us multiple buttons!

What does the LBL’s tongue action look like? I’m all about demo videos lately, so:

Look at that. It flaps like a robotic penguin!

Maybe that doesn’t look/sound particularly… erotic, to you. But toy tech isn’t advanced enough to fluidly imitate an enticingly undulating tongue, especially at this price point. “Flapping” is as close as 2020 is gonna get to letting us sit on Tom Hardy’s Symbiote-masked face, or to being thoroughly fucked by a sentient tentacle monster.

I’ll take what I can get. Enthusiastically.

what does the laguna beach lover feel like internally?

First, I want to talk about my favorite way of using the Laguna Beach Lover: internally. My vaginismus has gotten worse lately, so I wasn’t able to test it firsthand. Luckily I have a co-tester!

The tongue has 3 wagging speeds. Both internally and externally, the highest speed is the only one that gets any use from us. The first 2 just don’t create enough friction/movement for our bodies, especially for penetration.

The LBL automatically turns on to the last function used, which I usually find annoying because gradually escalating speeds is how most folks masturbate. But since we only use the one wagging mode, it actually saves us time.

The tongue itself is flexible, medium-firm, and flat like a tongue. In fact, if not for its length and density, it feels pretty similar to an actual tongue. You can lean into that effect by warming the tongue’s silicone in hot (not boiling!) water before use.

The handle is comfortable to hold, and the buttons are easy to feel out and press. They light up when clicked. It’s wide enough that my partner Buster can hold the toy between their thighs and use it hands-free (three cheers for being fat!)

Some self-thrusting toys we’ve tried don’t have the muscle to keep moving when firmly gripped by a vagina. To my surprise, the CalExotics Laguna Beach Lover’s mild flaps keep on flappin’, as long as Buster’s careful not to indulge pre-orgasm clenching. If you have powerful pelvic floor muscles, you might have to remind yourself not to strangle this modest motor.

I prefer to fuck my partner with the Laguna Beach Lover rather than leave it still. In order for Buster to fully appreciate the toy’s motion, I have to fuck them slowly. If I thrust too fast, the lapping sensation gets lost in the friction. Slowly drawing the toy in and out allows them to feel each robotic sweep of the tongue. The silicone is soft and flexible, so it doesn’t feel pokey, even on inward thrusts.

Once inside, it’s not a super noisy toy (its mechanical whines aren’t as bad as the Lush Iris Rabbit), but it’s not discreet either.

the laguna beach lover as an oral sex simulator 

The California Dreaming Laguna Beach Lover’s tongue is bigger and squishier than my other favorite licking toy, the Pipedream Ultimate Pleasure. Its gentle texture and pliability make it fun to use even when the toy is off. To take my time when reading or watching porn, I’ll drizzle some lube on the tongue and rub it over my clit, imitating a much slower, more pressing lick than the toy’s mechanized flapping can manage on their own.

The flapping is admittedly unwieldy to use on my clit. The tongue is long and its swings are wide – not ideal for focusing on a relatively small part of my junk. But I still use it that way, and often. I’m a determined masturbator.

To get the best results from the licking function, I make sure it’s lube-slicked and turn it so I can use the narrow side of the tongue on my clit. The tongue’s wet, steady swipes work me over like a sexy windshield wiper. I know that sounds weird, but I find the sleek friction really pleasurable.

There are 10 vibration settings: 3 steady power levels, and 7 patterns. The vibrations are mild and decidedly buzzy (boo.) I’m not usually a fan of patterns, but when paired with the Laguna Beach Lover’s flapping, several of the consistent pulsation patterns actually add to the sense of movement. I love that extra zing.

There are numerous ways to use the tongue, if you don’t mind adjusting how you hold the handle. I like to angle the tongue tip under or beside my clit to let it literally “flick the bean,” or use the flat side to smack/lap my clit. When I’m especially wet and masturbating while sitting at my desk, these two techniques come pretty close to feeling like inexperienced but earnest oral sex. It’s a semi-rigid and slow motion version, but still. It feels good.

Is it my favorite tongue toy for clitoral use? No. I still prefer the Ultimate Pleasure even if it feels less “real.” The Ultimate Pleasure’s smaller tongue and narrower range of motion make it easier to target and maintain friction on my clit. I like intensity and pressure (I love the Zumio, after all), and the Laguna Beach Lover’s approach is far more lax. But the LBL is half the price, deliciously effective internally, and sometimes lax is exactly what you need.

The LBL’s marketing claims that you only get “up to 45 minutes” of function when you use the toy on high. That seems like a lowball estimate to me. I’ve never had this toy die on me, and I’m pretty forgetful about topping off the charge between uses. Time is extra hazy these days, but I feel like the Laguna Beach Lover lasts twice that.

final thoughts on the laguna beach lover

I really like this toy. With the premature death of my Pipedream Fun Tongue, the Laguna Beach Lover is the only option in my toy box for when I’m wanting soft, broad licks.

If CalExotics wants to come out with another version with a shorter tongue and another speed, my clit would be indebted to them. (Buster would like one that’s thicker to better imitate being fucked by a tentacle, thank youuu!)

Would you like this toy? Probably not if you prefer girthy insertables, vigorous thrusting, or super pinpoint stimulation.

But if you’re a fan of friction directly on your clit – like finger rubbing or firm licks – and you don’t need strong and/or rumbly vibrations? If you like the sensation of rocking a dildo up and down rather than thrusting, or the languid waving of fingers inside you? If you wanna fuck Venom and you’re willing to take what you can get? You might love this toy.

Here’s hoping that everything – including oral sex simulators – gets better in 2021.

You can find the California Dreaming Laguna Beach Lover on SheVibe.

Thank you, SheVibe, for sending me the CalExotics California Dreaming Laguna Beach Lover Clitoral Vibrator in exchange for an honest review. 

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