Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: DFAB (designated female at birth) person internalizes the message that orgasming with a clit and vagina is a much more complicated affair than orgasming with a penis. They assume the rarity of their own orgasms is due to having tragically tricky bits, so they never think to examine the methods or toys they use in bed. Over a decade passes. They randomly discover the existence of sex bloggers. They start trying new toys. They look for rumbly power in their new vibrator choices but are limited by a very strict budget. They find the Noje Wand. They have an orgasm almost every single time they set out to have one when using it. At one point, they cry after masturbating, because a thought hits them suddenly: orgasms are a thing I can have, instead of a thing I can only hope to have.

Somewhere in there I probably veered away from the stories you’re familiar with (or perhaps even the star of), but you get the point.

Before I charged up the Noje Wand for the first time, I was averaging one orgasm out of every three times I tried for one during partnered sex, and one out of every five times during masturbation. Most of the time I “popped,” which is what I call getting close to an orgasm and then suddenly losing all sensation; it was something I had spent most of my post-puberty life assuming was just part of being a card-carrying member of Club Vulva. I had never once heard of the word “rumbly” in relation to vibrators, so it never occurred to me that my loss of sensation was probably due to buzzy vibes numbing my junk.

I bought the Siena Slimline and the Rechargeable Vooom before the Noje; with both, I was able to immediately discern the rumbles celebrated by sex bloggers in other toys, but neither were great for reasons you can read about in their respective reviews. We also got a Magic Wand for Buster (because Buster has a vulva of steel) and while it’s certainly a rumbly orgasm-giver on its lower settings (I like the first and second), it’s just too bulky and intense for me to use regularly.

And if there’s one thing the Noje Wand ain’t, it’s “bulky”. I have the W3 and it’s startlingly small and compactly designed. The curved, fat-butted handle is made of ABS plastic and its small head and stubby, flexible neck are both covered with silicone. Though the base of the head is also firm plastic, the removable silicone cap is sleek and has five barely perceptible ridges on the lower half, and it can be wiggled off and substituted with attachments. The toy’s charging port and single settings button are both on the rounded base of the handle. I bought it in sage, but it also comes in rose and wisteria! I love these kinds of muted shades, they’re so different from the garish or moody colors most toys come in.

I also love the packaging. There was nothing overtly sexual or gendered about it; in fact, I’d sooner assume it was the box for something innocuous but vaguely techy like headphones or a wireless mouse. I imagine queer, trans, and aro/ace folks in particular will appreciate the lack of cisgender heterosexual centered marketing – I know Buster and I did – but it’s a clean, streamlined aesthetic that anyone can appreciate… Unless you’re the gross dude at another toy company who likes to put photoshopped boobies on everything.

I have to admit, toy design and packaging aside, I wasn’t expecting this toy to rock my world. I was sure it would sit in the same awkward place as the Vooom: not big enough to suit my broad stimulation preferences but also not focused enough to meet my pinpoint demands.

I was wrong.

The Noje Wand occupies its own space in my perception of vibrators. It’s wand-shaped and wand-rumbly, but it’s so small it feels more like a bullet egg with a convenient handle. But unlike the few bullet eggs I’ve tried (admittedly all cheap trash), it’s strong as fuck. Its vibrations are rumbly and manage to transfer deeper and more consistently than the Vooom’s, but are still targeted enough not to make the rest of my vulva itch with side buzz. And while I don’t own the rumbly clit vibe staple of the sex blogging world – the We-Vibe Tango – and thus can’t draw comparisons between it and the Noje Wand, I can compare it to the Magic Wand Rechargeable…

And yes: it can compare.

The Noje Wand has five consistent speed settings, which is fantastic because it allows me to gradually work myself from mmm to ohfuck, instead of abruptly transitioning from warm-up to crotch-punch. All five settings feel pretty steadily rumbly to me. The first two are great, but it’s the third speed where it gets extra interesting: it’s almost as strong as the Magic Wand Rechargeable’s first setting. Not bad, for something a fraction of the MWR’s size! The Noje Wand’s fourth setting is a little more powerful than the MWR’s first, and the MWR’s second setting is sandwiched somewhere between the Noje’s fourth and fifth settings. The Noje Wand covers a much, much smaller surface area so it’s not going to rumble your entire vulva like the MWR does, but I’ve found that my junk – which is picky about broad and pinpoint stimulation – enjoys the weird limbo the Noje Wand occupies.

(Buster is decidedly less enthused with my puny little wand, because Buster can use the MWR for 35 minutes on the third setting without coming, so.)

The downside to its size, though, is that you do feel the vibrations in your hand when you grasp it. Because I have a thick pubic mound and the W3 handle is curved, on the rare occasions where the vibrations itch my fingers, I just hold the handle against my mound with two fingers and ignore it. The W3 handle has also been great for my being fat – the curve means I don’t have to strain over my belly quite as much to get it situated with my junk.

The Noje Wand also has five vibration patterns that are… not completely useless? I generally hate patterns because at worst, they feel like they were designed by people who have never had or even interacted with a vulva, and at best, they seem like they were just tacked on because everybody else in the industry is doing it. But the Noje Wand’s settings aren’t all miss. I actually kind of like the third one as a warm-up when I’m still clicking around looking for some porn to watch. I’d probably use it more often, if it wasn’t such a pain to cycle through all the settings.

Because, yeah: the Noje Wand only has one button, and on top of that it’s sometimes finicky about where you’re pressing it. And like a hiker keen to summit, I sometimes get overambitious and go up a speed before I’m ready – and getting back to where I was requires cycling through the rest of the speeds and all of the patterns. And it’s not much of a time saver to just switch it off to return to the starting speed, because you have to hold the button for several seconds to turn it off, and several seconds to turn it back on. (The number of seconds is often exacerbated by my not pressing it exactly right and having to then move my finger minutely and try again.) Need to switch it off instantly for discretion’s sake? No luck there, friend. But if you’re traveling with it or have it stowed away in a purse/backpack, it’s definitely not going to get accidentally switched on just from being jumbled around.

And tucking the Noje Wand in a bag and taking it with you is definitely possible – the Noje is the epitome of “travel-sized.” I could easily fit two of these in my hand. (This also makes it great for partnered sex where your partner(s) are above you or you’re in a position with limited hand room.)

Luckily for discretion’s sake, the Noje isn’t especially noisy unless you’re holding it without applying the head against something. It’s nowhere near whisper quiet (nor does it claim to be) but my small fan drowns it out fairly well, and its vibrations are never loud enough to distract me during use.

But there’s a different discretion issue: the light behind the button. The lighting is extremely bright – like, we’ve been using this thing as a freakin’ flashlight. It’s useful for when we need to get more lube in the dark or find where another toy has disappeared in the blankets, but it’s a major distraction in general. I’m autistic so I’m very sensitive to harsh lights, and since I have the W3 (which is the most angled model of the three), the light is pointed directly at my face. It’s strong enough to be seen through my well-worn jersey sheets, so I have to block it using our comforter. While this is fine for sex under the covers, I live in Florida. This brief cold snap isn’t going to last forever.

Also, the light jutters when you’re using patterns (and, to a much lesser extent, when on steady patterns if you’re not applying pressure.) If you have a medical sensitivity to flashing/warbling light, I’d highly suggest purchasing a different toy unless you intend to keep the base shielded.

Now there’s one more con to get through before I go back to fangirling over this little fella: the charger. While I appreciate that the Noje Wand is rechargeable, especially at this price point (and we’ll get that in a sec), I legitimately fear I’ll end up breaking the charger sooner rather than later. The cord itself is short but sturdy and ends with a USB plug, but the head – instead of being a blessedly simple USB charger to match – is a minuscule, circular metal face with a tiny metal prong. The prong is slightly wiggly. The head is magnetic, so it clicks to the port on the toy, but the magnet isn’t powerful enough to be tug-proof (and probably couldn’t be, at this size.) A larger prong would probably be more likely to get snapped… And the Noje is waterproof according to its box (I haven’t had any trouble dunking it in my sink to wash it), so I imagine the charger choice is, at least in part, for the sake of waterproofing… but still. It makes me nervous.

But those nerves are mostly because I love this toy so much, I’d be pretty upset if I broke it. I wouldn’t have to be upset for long, though. Because while we do live paycheck to paycheck, it wouldn’t be too hard to replace my Noje Wand… because it only costs $36 at both SheVibe and Peepshow Toys. (The box also says it comes with a year warranty.)

Because of its $80 pricetag, I haven’t bought the much-loved We-Vibe Tango, and I’ve seen plenty of other folks looking for their first rumbly vibe balk at the Tango’s price too. Buster and I spent years agonizing over the price of the Magic Wand Rechargeable before buying it. It astounds me that I’ve found an effective, rumbly mini wand that manages to harness the strength of much bigger wands in its higher tiers while offering milder settings for those intimidated by MWR-sized monsters. And it floors me that it’s offered at a price I wouldn’t hesitate in reassuring someone it’s worth, a price that newbies and those on strict budgets can consider.

I unabashedly love this wand. It changed the game for me, and it didn’t ask me to tie up my budget to do it. It’s packaged in a way that invites me in as an equally valued consumer in the sex toy market. It meets my needs for power and convenience… minus the damn button and its hella bright butt light. It comes in multiple shapes (which I intend to buy all of) to suit users’ unique holding needs. And it’s so small I can take it with me anywhere, which I intend to do, because orgasms are a thing I can have – and that’s pretty much a whole new world.

Can I say it’ll do the same for everyone fighting for “elusive” orgasms? Nah, of course not. Everyone’s bodily needs and preferences are different. But I can say that it works for me, and at its price, it’s worth a shot. And for those looking for a rumbly little travel companion (or at least one that won’t get in the way) that packs a big wand’s starting punch without all the bulk and bs, it’s definitely, in my opinion, worth adding to your collection.

You can find the Noje W3 Mini Wand on SheVibe and Peepshow Toys. I purchased the Noje W3 Mini Wand with my own money. Affiliate links were used in this post.