There is a lot of negative stigma surrounding sex toys. I’ve heard people say that they’re frivolous, or they’re only for lonely perverts, or that they’re a crutch for people who don’t know how to pleasure their partner(s) “right.” Since my blog is about 90% sex toys, I think it’s obvious that I don’t believe these shitty stereotypes – but still, these narratives are pervasive, so I wanted to talk about it.

There’s nothing shameful, selfish, or sad about using sex toys. They’re a fun, inventive addition to sex and masturbation.

Can some of them be pricey? Yes. But there are plenty of quality, budget-friendly toys – and besides, pleasure is an important aspect of wellness and self-esteem. It’s worth investing in. If I can drop $70 on another Joy-Con for my Switch so I can play with friends, I can spend the same on a body-safe sex toy or two that’s just as great for local co-op. (Or I can snag an app controlled toy for long distance play!)

Can sex toys be useful for single and/or sex starved folks? Sure! They can provide new sensations to shake up self-pleasure routines. Being single isn’t a bad thing, and neither is masturbation. The fact that we shame people for it is indicative of how self-conscious we as a society are about independence. Also, sex toys are purchased by folks in relationships too, and some of the most popular sex toys are specifically designed for coupled sex.

The last myth – that sex toys are for people that aren’t good at sex – irritates me the most. Pleasure is not a competition. It’s not a graded experience. Everyone’s body and sexual needs and preferences are profoundly different. Some people can’t get off on all the tips and tricks you get from magazine listicles. And that’s okay! Deciding to introduce sex toys into one’s sex life shows that you recognize that toys can provide new sensations and experiences. Sex toys are tools! They’re usually only as useful as creativity and craftiness allows.

(But also? Deciding not to use sex toys is totally valid too. Don’t let the sometimes overbearing marketing make you think you’re having substandard sex if you’re not buying the latest pricey doohickey. You do you.)

All that being said, some of us actually do need sex toys. Whether it’s due to stimulation needs, disability, or the dozens of other reasons, sex toys are sometimes more than tools; sometimes, they’re necessary components to pleasure. We’re often the ones hurt the most by the stigma surrounding sex toy use. When these negative stereotypes are parroted, they shame people out of pursuing what’s might be the best option for them. We’re made to feel broken, greedy, or self-indulgent.

But everyone and every body deserves to feel pleasure, including pleasure that’s derived from modern invention.

So maybe let’s stop sneering at sex toy use?

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This post wasn’t sponsored, but all links go to my affiliate Peepshow Toys! You can get 10% off your purchase by using my exclusive discount code at checkout: betty