Oh, the ups and downs I’ve had with the Filare Swirling Oral Sex Simulator.

The Filare is an oral sex simulator from Lora Dicarlo, a small sex tech company that went viral after they were unfairly barred from the Consumer Electronics Show by the Consumer Technology Association.

Like most sex tech startups, Lora DiCarlo’s branding/marketing is all about empowerment, innovation, and inoffensively bland color palettes. Their toy designs are strange (the Filare looks like a minimalist computer mouse) and expensive (this one has a $180 pricetag.) The company – and the founder it’s named for – are perhaps overhyped.

But the Filare intrigued me. Oral sex simulators are my thing! Despite my reservations about Lora DiCarlo (and the fact that its updated flagship toy was getting widely panned), I chose to be cautiously optimistic. Peepshow Toys offered me a Filare to review, and I said yes.

It definitely wasn’t love at first fap. In fact, I hated the Filare. For months. But eventually, I figured out how to make this funky avocado work for me.

filare oral sex simulator design & demo

The Filare “uses micro-robotic technology to imitate a partner’s tongue swirling and massaging the clitoris.” As futuristic and fantastical as that sounds, what it means is that the DiCarlo Filare has two bead-like protrusions beneath its soft silicone surface. They spin in a fixed circle at 10 different speeds.

To further customize the experience, there are 3 spin directions and 2 protrusion levels for the beads. I’m going to be honest here: I haven’t memorized these settings. Every time I use the Filare Oral Sex Simulator, I just mash the buttons until it’s the way I want it.

(Yes, the Lora DiCarlo Filare – like so many other oral sex simulators – makes a noisy, robotic whirring. Luckily it’s not as loud as it seems here.)

The F fits pretty comfortably in my hand. It’s about 2.5 inches long and 2 inches wide. Its base and power button (located on the back of the toy) are made of hard plastic. The Filare only comes in one color, but luckily it’s a handsome dark green. The Ose 2’s dingy white reminds me of hospitals.

If you like to use your toys in the bath, the Filare is IPX7 waterproof. To my understanding that means it can be fully submerged for up to 30 minutes. While I haven’t used the Filare in the tub, I have tossed it into a full sink a few times when cleaning big batches of toys. It’s never been a problem.

Although the Filare itself is a sturdy toy, its charger is frustratingly ill-fitted. The magnetic cord barely grasps the charging nodes on the toy. That’s kind’ve absurd for a sex toy that costs half as much as my computer.

To suit its luxury pricing, the Filare comes in what I call “a whole lotta box” (which is a whole lotta waste in the name of seeming fancy.) But it also comes with a large drawstring storage bag made of recycled materials. That is neat!

figuring out how the filare works for me

I really hated this toy at first. Its roiling nubs felt like a whisper against my vulva, persistent but too faint to be called pleasurable (or even stimulating.) I could never situate the toy in a way that made meaningful contact with my clitoris, which is ‘buried’ by thick outer labia I have to part when masturbating. And pressing down to try and chase any stimulation just stalled it out. If you apply any pressure at all the toy seizes up and shuts off.

Even though I got a “free” review copy, I felt cheated. $180 for some “micro-robotic” rotating marbles? The only oral sex this thing was mimicking was being gone down on by a fidget spinner wrapped in a blanket.

But here and there, I started finding variables that helped the Filare’s cause. Putting them all together is why, a year later, I love this funky little avacado.

What makes it work for me? I pour an obnoxious amount of lube on the Filare and set the beads to the highest and fastest settings. Usually while sitting up (which naturally parts my labia), I spread myself open even further, and hold the Filare at an angle. Its broad face is too bulky for me to get the beads on the right side of my clit (the most sensitive part) in any other position.

And oh – oh fuck yeah –

what does the lora dicarlo filare feel like?

Slathered with too much lube and whirring its hardest in just the right place, I can finally feel what Lora DiCarlo’s marketing promises. The circular, massaging pressure on my clitoris feels startlingly similar to getting oral. It’s a toy, so it’s not (and will never be) a match/replacement, but the friction has a lot of the same pushy, roiling stimulation as the “press your tongue flat and knead it in circles” technique.

The oral-like massage is limited in range, but the inhuman consistency (it keeps going at the exact same pace long after a human would tap out with a tongue cramp) makes up for it.

It’s… good. Like, so fucking good. The Filare’s rapid whirring is somehow gentler than a vibrator, and it doesn’t cause the same oversensitivity after I orgasm. I have a feeling if I was a multiorgasmic person, the Filare Oral Sex Simulator would have no problem making me come over and over.

Now that I have the hang of it, I can use the Filare mostly successfully while laying down too. I can even (with some persistence) position it so it stays hands-free between my thick labia (one of the many benefits of being fat.) It’s not positioned quite right, but the massage still feels good, and it’s a welcome companion to reading smutty comics.

My partner is not so lucky. Their clitoral hood is thick and much more recessed in their labia and mound. The Lora DiCarlo Filare can’t reach. Unlike vibrations, which can travel across your vulva, the Filare’s rotating beads can only stimulate what they’re directly touching. I’d love to see this tech put into a less bulky body!

comparing the filare to other toys

The Lora DiCarlo Filare’s unique roiling is probably the most human-feeling oral sex simulator I’ve tried. But it’s a very passive toy. If you’re after more physicality and direct friction than the average vibrator, the Filare might be a snooze.

(In fact, my partner said that to their junk – which is generally less sensitive than mine – the beads “feel like humming, or rubbing your fingertips, I guess? It’s so gentle.”)

Contrastingly, the Sir Richard’s Control Rim Joy and the Laguna Beach Lover use wagging tongues. They definitely feel more robotic than the Filare Oral Sex Simulator, and their tongues only offer awkward up-and-down flapping motions that are often even harder to angle just right than the Filare’s flat face. But if you have difficulty reaching your clit or you want more movement from your oral toy, they’re both great alternatives.

As far as personal preference goes… I’ve reached for the Filare and the Rim Joy almost equally lately. The Filare offers a sleek, consistent swirl of pleasure that builds slowly; the Rim Joy offers shoving/lapping that nudges me to orgasm quickly. Which one I grab is based on mood rather than toy quality.

final thoughts on the filare

I haven’t just had ups and downs with the Filare itself. I’ve had ups and downs about how to wrap up this review.

I mean, do I recommend something that takes this much finagling to work for my body, doesn’t work for my partner’s at all… and costs $180? That’s a huge financial gamble! It also doesn’t offer an alternative form of stimulation (like vibration) if its beads don’t do it for you.

Genuinely, no offense to the engineers at DiCarlo. But no matter how complicated the inner workings of the Filare are, the end result feels no more technologically complex than a $60-$100 toy from existing companies. I understand needing to make money back on R&D investment, but oof. The mechanism can’t even muscle through being pressed firmly against my clit.

Here’s the thing, though. While its tech doesn’t feel advanced, it does feel different. I own a lot of sex toys, and nothing else feels quite like the Filare Oral Sex Simulator. Its roiling massage is exquisite. Despite the struggle, I’ll be reaching for the Filare long after this review is done.

If you’re after an oral sex simulator and you have a sensitive, exposed (or easily accessible) clitoris, the Filare is an expensive but unique treasure. I hope to see similar friction-based toys at less jarring price points in the near future.

Get 10% off the Filare Swirling Oral Sex Simulator by Lora DiCarlo at Peepshow Toys with code BETTY at checkout.

Thank you, Peepshow, for sending me the Filare Swirling Oral Simulator by Lora DiCarlo in exchange for an honest review.

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