My favorite insertable toys come with descriptors like “monster,” “fantasy,” or “tentacle.” As an avid fan of horror and sci-fi, I’m always looking for new, weird dildos and sex toys. Blame all the late night b-movie marathons and tentacle porn searches over the years!

I’m happy to call myself “monster fucker,” and I’m very happy the Teuthida Tentacle Dildo from Uberrime is a tentacle dildo I get to fuck.

The Teuthida Tentacle is made of soft, squishy silicone. Shore 0050, if you’re familiar with fantasy dildos. If you’re not, it means the dildo is easy to squeeze, bend, and flop around, but it’s still sturdy enough for a larger toy to not fold over when you’re thrusting it.

SheVibe offers the Teuthida Tentacle in two sizes. The small size is 8” tall with a 1.75” width. The large is 9” tall (8 inches insertable) and a whopping 2” in diameter towards the base. On Uberrime’s own site, there’s an array of color options: single, marbled, or artifex which has four different color schemes to choose from.

Whatever aesthetic your imagination comes up with when you start musing about your deep sea (or space) buddy, there’s a good chance Uberrime has colors for it.

I happen to be the lucky owner of the large sized Teuthida in the “gamecock” color scheme, which is a combination of orchid, pearl aqua, and lemon pop yellow. I also own the small sized Teuthida in a one-off yellow/purple color combo that Uberrime doesn’t offer regularly.

One of the best things about monster and fantasy dildos is they tend to have a lot of texture. The Teuthida Tentacle doesn’t disappoint. There’s two columns of individual suckers running down its front. The suckers are plush and concave, unlike outward-protruding octopus tentacles suckers. The squishy texture of the silicone makes it easier for them to produce a light grabbing sensation when pressed down or dragged.

The Teuthida also has skin texturing on the back. It’s subtle looking, especially on marbled or artifex versions, but there’s skin-like ridges along the surface. It doesn’t really add stimulation, but visually it does add a lot more “realism.” The toy really does look like it’s some alien or critter’s tentacle. Honestly, one of my only complaints is there’s actually a lot of artistic detail to the toy that gets lost in visual translation because of the vibrant color combos used.

So, what is the Teuthida like in use? Fucking unreal. This dildo moves. I don’t mean in a mechanical, thrusting vibrator kind of way. I mean in a flexibility way. Are you like Gollum and like them wriggling? This tentacle is going to be your new best friend. I personally enjoy thrusting it in slowly and gripping the base to tilt it from side to side to give the illusion of it slithering in.

As I said earlier, weird b-movies and tentacle porn…

The tapered tip is very alien feeling as it slides in but that adds more to the eroticism of the toy. The roundedness of the end and the overall softness of the toy makes it surprisingly comfortable. At first glance you would think it would be pokey.

Because it’s so long and squishy, another interesting way I get to use this toy is bending the shaft so I can fuck myself with it while using the lower half to rub off on. The front of the Uberrime Teuthida Tentacle slides against me with each thrust. The suckers rub slick and soft, and the movement creates a bit of suction so they almost tug at you. (Not enough to hurt, just like lightly grabbing as you move.) Using it this way makes the thrusts shallower and not as filling, but the added stimulation of grinding the suckers against my clit/dick while thrusting is hot.

I’ve never experienced that with a fantasy dildo before. At least not without having to angle myself or the dildo in a way that’s strained or uncomfortable.

If you enjoy faster thrusting I would recommend using plenty of lube with this particular toy. Because the suckers are so effectively sculpted, they can cause small amounts of suction when the toy is being thrusted rapidly. It’s not a painful sensation, but if you run out of slickness it can cause unpleasant dragging to occur, so the more lube the better! Additionally, these suckers cause a lot of noise. It can easily become a sloppy, squelchy, sexy mess of a fuck. I personally like noisy sex and the sounds in tentacle porn. If you do also that’s just going to be another bonus.

The Teuthida’s tapered shape and its flared base make it a good choice for anal play. You can start with the tip and gradually tease your way down to get to the fattier base. For me that means not having to use another toy for a warm up.

One thing I should probably warn about is how easy it is to nick the base. It’s thinner than some other Uberrime toys we have, and I can be pretty rough with this thing. Since the silicone is soft, I’ve accidentally pinched it with my nails a few times. Tears in silicone aren’t an issue hygienically as long as you keep the toy clean, but they can spread if you keep tugging hard enough.

I do wish there was a suction cup on the base. Though it does the “Uberrime thing” of slightly sticking to most surfaces, I really wanted it to have a better grip for shower or bathtub use. I feel like it would be handy as a toy you just gradually lower onto or back up on.

If you love monster dildos as much as I do, or even if you want to take the dive and give one a try, I would highly recommend Uberrime’s Teuthida Tentacle Dildo. Its tapered shape, beautiful texturing, and squishy flexibility make it a must-own in my book.

If you’re looking for an external-only tentacle toy, I would also recommend the Uberrime Tentare Tango Sleeve (which my handsome babe Betty has a review of here). It’s a little less daunting with smaller suckers, but it also has more pronounced ridges and a wickedly indented tip. Just keep in mind this sleeve is firmer for a different experience rubbing on your junk and using vibration.

You can get the Teuthida 7 Inch Tentacle and Teuthida 8 Inch Tentacle on Uberrime and SheVibe.

Thank you, Uberrime, for sending me the the Teuthida Tentacle Dildo. Affiliate links were used for select links.

In the interest of complete disclosure: Uberrime’s founder Marco is a good friend. This has not influenced my opinions, except perhaps to give me further appreciation for the artistry of silicone.