To me, my D&D pervs, GoT survivors, and sword lesbians!

I summon you here today to talk about one thing that is actually two things: the Drago Lock On Sword Handle and the Draken Fantasy Dragon Dildo attachment, both made by Blush Novelties and sent to me by Peepshow Toys.

Crafted for nerds of all kinds, the Realm sword – sold separately and as a bundle – is no gag gift (though it can be given with humor.) It’s a sturdy, body safe fucksword, with interchangeable dildo attachments.

Though The Realm is a new line, Draken isn’t the only dildo that can be paired with the Drago sword handle. There are currently three other dildos, all of which are realistic, light-skinned phalluses with a cartoonish aesthetic. Peepshow Toys carries the 7.5 Inch Realistic, which you can also get in a bundle.

There are plans to expand the collection in the future with additional lock on attachments, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for floggers and paddles. And, you know, some non-white dicks.

what’s this lock on thing about?

Lock on systems like The Realm’s offer folks versatility. Rather than selling multiple full-size swords with matching handles, Blush only makes you pay for the handle once, and you can buy and swap out attachments as you please. Not up to fucking a dragon tonight? Pop on that 7.5 Inch Realistic instead!

Pairing the Drago Sword Handle with your chosen dildo is simple. For those unfamiliar with this kind of attachment system, it goes like this:

1. Slather water-based lube (like my beloved Sliquid Sassy) or grocery store cornstarch either on the handle’s lock-on peg, or inside the dildo attachment’s receiving hole.
2. Push them together while making slight twisting motions. To lessen your chance of air getting caught, give the attachment a squeeze as you first impale it on the handle. (Just keep in mind that this also creates a stronger seal.)
3. When you’re done playing, wriggle the attachment free with gentle but firm twist-pull gestures. Make sure to thoroughly rinse the lube or cornstarch off the toys, and let them dry before storing them.

Attaching and detaching the dildo can be mildly straining, so if you’re not the designated pickle jar opener in your house, be prepared to make a couple funny faces.. for Asgard!

the drago lock on sword handle design 

The Drago Lock On Sword Handle is bronze-painted polyurethane. It’s over 11 inches tall and its dragon-headed guard has a 7-inch wingspan. There’s some pointy parts to its design that I wouldn’t want to accidentally step on (or inadvertently jam into someone’s thigh.) Given its proximity to people’s junk, I wish they’d gone with a sleeker dragon design and/or a downward-curved guard… but the handle itself isn’t sharp – or it isn’t intended to be, anyway.

Sadly Drago is a little rough around the edges, literally. It appears 3D-printed, and has the subtle lining to prove it. All over the toy there are tiny unintentional dimples and pockets made by air bubbles in the manufacturing process. These blemishes kinda add to the Drago Sword Handle’s charm since the (awesome) paintjob implies it’s an aged weapon, but unfortunately the edges of some divots are sharp. That’s fine for something on display, but for sex?

In terms of aesthetic, I like the Drago Sword Handle’s fairly versatile appearance. It doesn’t lean too heavily towards any one particular fantasy property; its sneering dragon heads and crossed sword coat of arms wouldn’t look amiss in Hyrule, the Seven Kingdoms, Eternia, or the unnamed kingdom in Dragon’s Lair. This gives dirty LARPers a lot of room to play!

Unfortunately, my Drago Sword Handle had more than some printing dimples and a dragon’s head fringe to contend with. When it first arrived, it reeked so powerfully of something like rubbing alcohol that I had to set it on my patio table for a few days to dull the smell. If I put my face too close to it now, I can still catch a vague whiff.

I reached out to a few fellow bloggers but nobody else had this issue. I also reached out to Blush Novelties via social media, and they checked in on their handles and found that while there’s a scent, it was nothing as strong as mine (and it dissipates.) The materials comply with the same safety standards as kid’s toys. (They also noted that the handles aren’t intended for insertion, and at first I giggled – but then I realized that some of y’all might try it, so here I am saying: do not fuck the sword handle.)

the draken fantasy dragon dildo design

Draken is a firm yet bendy, texture-wrapped dragon phallus in moody, broody blue. It’s 1.75 inches in diameter and over 7 inches tall, putting it in the slightly-above-average size range. (Modest, for a dragon! Although its density can make it seem girthier to those who usually prefer a softer toy.) It has a thin, harness-compatible base, and a hole for lock-on compatibility.

I wouldn’t necessarily call this a g/p-spot dildo – those tend to have bigger heads or curved shafts to make sure you’re stroking in the right places – but its texturing makes up for this if you tilt the toy when thrusting.

Draken’s design is.. really weird! It’s got oval eye-like scales, corded ridges, leathery skin texturing, and a fairly anatomically correct head (you know, with artistic deviations.) There’s a lot going on with the design and I don’t know if I necessarily think it blends cohesively, but that’s all subjective. Perhaps you enjoy your dragons visually arresting. I personally would have loved to see the eye scales on their own, separate monster dil design. Many Eyes Blue Dragon!

experiencing the draken fantasy dragon dildo 

The Draken Fantasy Dragon Dildo is definitely a dildo you’re going to want to use lube with. And if you don’t love texture – and I mean really, really love it – this is not the dildo for you.

Because there’s very little squish to the silicone, Draken’s texturing really stands out in use. (Especially when compared to our other monster dick favorites like Dix and Frank’s Monster, which have softer surfaces.) My partner Buster – stunt cunt extraordinaire – enjoyed all the bumps, swells, and scales, but only when we used the Draken for fast, shallow thrusting.

When fucking Draken in at an angle, the texturing thoroughly massaged Buster’s urethral sponge. This provided a flurry of diverse sensation that they could feel even when pairing the Draken with a wand vibrator. So while I might find the hodgepodge of varied texturing less than appetizing visually, I can’t argue with the results. The head was particularly noticeable, with its firm crown and prominently entrenched slit pushing and dragging with each short thrust.

Buster wasn’t a fan of using the Draken Fantasy Dragon Dildo for hard, deep thrusts – the denseness of the silicone made it a bit of a battering ram. But dragon-slaying is a brutal business; for some, this will be a point of interest.

Although made to top the Drago sword handle, Draken fits just fine in a harness. Though I’ve found that the depth of the lock-on hole does take away from the shaft’s stability since the lack of core in the bottom half can make it fold under strain. If you have a Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock compatible harness, the Draken will fit the peg perfectly.

The hole can also be used to turn the Draken into a vibrating dildo. I found that both the We-Vibe Tango and the Exposed Nocturnal will fit; just make sure to leave plenty of room to grip and pull them back out. A drip of lube is also helpful!

experiencing the drago lock on sword handle

Before actually using the Draken and Drago paired as intended, I thought their proportions were a little silly. A sword “blade” that’s the same length as its hilt? Kinda weird, right? I felt that – even though additional length wouldn’t be used by most consumers – the dildo should be longer.

But I was wrong! Even at its current size, the Realm combo is tricky for me to control. I’m constantly clamoring for dildo handles, but this hilt’s rigidity compared to Draken’s medium-firm silicone made the pair unwieldy. It was impossible to feel the inner contours of my partner’s body (as I do when holding the dildo itself), so my thrusts became even clumsier than normal. This was exacerbated by trying to avoid accidentally poking Buster’s thick thighs with the handle’s dragon-headed guard.

If you’re intending to use these toys in tandem, I suggest turning the handle so the guard is vertical, and keeping your thrusts at a consistent angle. Veer off path and you might jab your lover in a way they don’t like!

My favorite way to utilize the Drago Sword Handle was to instead have my partner hold it with their heels, or prop it on the bed or against the wall. Watching them fuck themself by hand was good nerdy fun and deeply erotic too – the Realm toys are going to make some excellent props for nudes and porn.

final thoughts on the realm lock on bundle

The Realm Sword Bundle is for those of us who live life at the mercy of matching dice; who stand still in the woods and hear the soothing echo of an ocarina; who are still reading Oglaf after all these years. Blush Novelties could have made these toys as a joke but instead went to great lengths to provide a visually interesting, fully functional product that’ll make your binge buddies laugh, but is still built to fuck the hell out of you and/or your partner(s). They even created packaging worthy to join the overworked particle board of your collectibles shelf – as it would mine, if my RV had the room.

We live in a time where nerdy interests are a mainstream pursuit. It’s delightful to see that manifest in the sex toy industry as well.

Now, as to whether or not $80 USD is a reasonable price for a printer-pockmarked handle… I guess that depends on how lucrative your recent dungeon crawls have been. At least the handle/dildo bundle saves you a nice chunk of gold – otherwise, I don’t think I’d recommend the indulgence if you weren’t already sold on it for the novelty.

The Draken Dildo ($40 USD) on its own, however, I give a pretty enthusiastic “go for it” – with some caveats, as usual. You’ll need to prefer your dildos on the firmer side and your textures intense, because Draken is a conqueror of kingdoms and gentles itself for no one. And if you’re not interested in sword play, its lock-on cavity can fit a bullet vibe to turn your dragon into a vibrator.

I’m excited to see what treasures will be added to The Realm. Hopefully, some inclusive cocks, impact toys, and additional uniquely textured monster cocks are on the way – I’ll have my hilt at the ready.

You can find your Realm goodies at Peepshow Toys: the Draken Lock On Dragon Dildo ($40 USD), the Drago Lock On Sword Handle ($80 USD), or get them both at a discount with the Realm Draken Dildo Sword Bundle ($100 USD.) Note that these are the prices at the time of this writing, and may fluctuate.

Want to save even more? Use code “betty” at checkout to get 10% off your order!

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Thank you, Peepshow Toys, for sending me the Draken/Drago combo in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links were used in this post.