Any impact toy can be intimidating – but riding crops have presence. They’re taming tools that can deliver a viper bite (small, fast, targeted strikes) if you stray from position. I love crops.

The Noir Flinch Crop comes from Blush Novelties’ line of budget- and beginner-friendly kink wares. There’s also fluffy nipple clamps, a feather tickler (which I’m dying to review), and a breathable ball gag.

I’ve owned a couple of cheap crops over the years. My expectations are pretty fair: I want it to be sturdy, and I want it to produce a good ‘crack’ on impact. I also want it to sting, but most budget impact toys are pretty gentle. Heavier materials (like real leather) are pricier.

Accordingly, the Noir Flinch Crop is made of “vegan leather.” (The marketing doesn’t specify, but generally vegan/faux leather is polyurethane (PU) leather, which is made with plastic and polyester.) This material makes up its double-tongued tip as well as the lightly textured wrapping on the handle.

I wish the wrapping didn’t go so far up the handle. I think it looks handsome sandwiched between the two nickel-free beads framing the grip. Continuing it all the way to the tip makes the crop look clunky.

Unfortunately, the Noir Flinch Crop doesn’t just look clunky. It’s very stiff. Flexibility is necessary to create the forceful snap you expect from a crop; the Flinch Crop is as rigid as a board. Its ultra-light, plasticy keeper (aka the tip) is whispery against skin. To produce an audible clap, you have to strike using the bottom half of the pleather tabs.

Even then, you have to swing the Noir Flinch Crop pretty hard for it to sting. If you’re a beginner or uncoordinated (shout out to my fellow dyspraxic tops!), this makes it harder to avoid accidentally hitting your partner with the handle instead of the keeper.

Crops like these are almost exclusively intended for nervous beginners who aren’t sure if they’ll even like impact play. The packaging – which is beautiful – features a black and white photo of a faceless, well-dressed man. This familiar, Shades-esque imagery is meant to be titillating and inviting. The crop is being sold as a fantasy more than a functional implement.

Is that bad? No. The marketing doesn’t claim it’s a physically effective pain tool, just that it produces a “stunning response.” But it’s still my job to tell you this crop’s not for folks who want some bite to go with the (arguably pretty passive) bark. This crop is for folks who want painless impact play. (And yes – that demographic exists.)

If you want a cheap crop that hurts, the less visually elegant Silicone Heart Crop has a weighted keeper that provides an audible smack and a quickly-fading thuddy sting. If you’re looking for a paddle with an equally soft blow, the Saffron Ping Pong Paddle is practically a pillow.

One last complaint: as someone with large hands, I have to do some serious wiggling to get the Noir Flinch Crop’s loop onto my wrist. I’ve thrown far too many Wii motes to skip it.

Ultimately, I think my favorite thing about this crop is the elegant, abstract detailing on the front of the packaging. The BDSM symbol is subtly featured like a hidden Mickey.

I hope Blush Novelties keeps adding to the Noir line. They know how to make high quality silicone sex toys for relatively cheap; maybe they’ll venture into silicone paddles? That’s sure to pack an actual punch…

Not looking for a snap and sting? You can find the Noir Flinch Crop on SheVibe, Peepshow Toys, and Amazon.

Thank you, Blush Novelties, for sending me the Noir Flinch Crop in exchange for an honest review.

This post includes affiliate links. While using these links to make a purchase comes at no extra cost to you, it helps keep my website running.