Grinding (also called humping) is when you rub your genitals against an object or consenting partner for sexual pleasure. It’s all about movement, texture, and friction: the slick glide of a vulva against a bedpost, the firm press of a penis on a partner’s ass, the restless writhing of a person sitting on a wand vibrator…

In my opinion, grinding (and scissoring, dry fucking, and frotting) is tragically underrated. It’s also under-served by the sex toy industry. There are a couple of standout products (like the Honeybunch and RockHer) but overall our options for grinding-specific pleasure tools are limited.

Which brings me to the subject of this post: the Rosae, Alia, and LaBae Silicone Grinders from Uberrime.

These soft, squishy sex toys were specifically created for grinding. I had a small part in creating them so I thought I’d review the shapes and explain how to use them!

what are uberrime silicone grinders?

Essentially, Uberrime Silicone Grinders are palm-sized, non-vibrating sex toys. Their unique texturing is designed for pleasurably rubbing against your genitals.

This can be done a number of ways (see how do you use uberrime silicone grinders? for ideas.) The most straight forward method is by hand: drizzling them with lube and massaging them against yourself with up and down movement, circular rocking, or scooping motions. A similarly easy technique is placing them on a surface you can straddle (like a narrow pillow or the corner of a low table) and humping against the texturing.

Uberrime Silicone Grinders are made of soft, squishy silicone. They have gummy-like density, which means they fold when you bend them and squish when you squeeze them. While this makes their texture less intense, it also makes them gentler on your genitals if you’re using a lot of pressure.

Silicone is non-toxic (safe to use on/in your body) and non-porous (doesn’t have holes that can harbor bacteria.) You can wash it with soap and water, or – for a more thorough clean between orifices or partners – sanitize it with a 10% bleach wash.

what do uberrime silicone grinders feel like?

There’s a million things that can get someone off: fingers, vibrators, mouths, thighs, oral sex simulators, etc. Our pleasure preferences (from the method to the technique) are highly individual. But something that many of them have in common is friction.

When you stroke your genitals with your fingers, you’re using pressure, movement, and the subtle texture of your skin to stimulate yourself. The Uberrime Rosae, Alia, and LaBae just give you more texture to play with.

Uberrime silicone grinders feel supple, and – when slicked with lube – slippery sleek. The Rosae’s pliable petals fold and flick in waves as they’re rolled against you. The Alia’s bony ridges provide a soft pop-pop-pop of friction when you rock over them. You glide against LaBae’s smooth lips and bump into the exaggerated knot of its clit.

(For more on how each grinder feels, see their individual reviews.)

These sensations are subtler than vibrators or dedicated oral sex, and they take more physical effort on your part. If you don’t already enjoy humping or hand stuff, you’ll have to spend some time experimenting to find the angles and movements that work best for your body. Otherwise you’re just mashing a hunk of silicone against your junk and waiting for divine intervention.

how do you use uberrime silicone grinders?

Every single idea I’m about to discuss requires liberal amounts of water-based lube. Seriously, be kind to your genitals. Lubricate your sex toys.

Pairing it with a wand vibrator.

If you’re not sure if silicone alone can get you off (and there’s nothing wrong with that!), you can “cheat” and use a vibrator too. Place the grinder against your junk, and hold it in place with a wand vibrator’s large head. It’s like having a wand topper, albeit clumsier. I recommend wands because their vibrations tend to be stronger, so they’ll reach through the silicone better.

In my experience, wands with flexible necks (like the Magic Wand Rechageable or PalmPower Extreme) are the best. You can you roll your hips to hump the grinder’s texture and the wand will bend to accommodate you. I especially like the PalmPower Extreme because the wand head is at an angle, making it easier to pin the grinder down.

Riding/humping it.

Depending on your flexibility, there are probably a number of surfaces in your home that you can straddle. Popping a grinder on it first gives your junk something interesting to rock on. Just make sure you stretch first (I have given myself a charlie horse), and have secure footing.

A few such surfaces in my apartment include a kitchen stool, the arm on my couch, a firm pillow, the bathtub’s rim, my partner’s thigh, and the corner of a coffee table.

Uberrime Silicone Grinders have glossy, slightly tacky backsides that help them stick to flat surfaces. (Alia and LaBae’s have a subtle lip to their bases that provides additional grip.) But they can be dislodged, so I try to bear down and use my weight/movement to keep them from scooting. Depending on your needs, you can also use a detachable suction cup. Undercover Creations (an indie studio from the UK) makes a model with thigh straps!

With a strap-on dildo.

Like the Banana Pants B.Cush, the Uberrime Silicone Grinders have a tacky backside that helps them ‘stick’ to flat dildo bases. If you have a backless harness (such as the Regal Princess or Aslan Jaguar), the grinder can become both a comfort buffer and a stimulator.

In my experience, the easiest way to get a pleasurable experience out of a grinder during strap-on sex is to… grind. Rather than thrusting, bury the dildo deep in your partner and maintain constant pressure/rubbing by sticking to tight rolls of your hips. If your partner has a cervix, consider using a shorter dildo to avoid discomfort.

If you like receiving strap-on blowjobs or handjobs, you can skip the harness completely and just hold the shaft to keep the grinder in place. You can rock up against the grinder, or allow a partner to massage it against you while they suck/jack you off.

Rubbing by hand.

This method is probably the best for learning a grinder’s texture and figuring out what angles work best for you. The Rosae for example has a lot of petal variation, so it feels very different depending on how you position and move it.

Techniques include (but aren’t limited to) circular rocking, rubbing up and down, and dragging it in a scooping/dipping motion. You can also vary how much pressure you’re applying, such as just lightly brushing yourself with the Alia’s knuckly ridges.

If you’re having trouble holding your grinder, you can pop on a double-sided suction cup or even a small suction cup dildo to fit between your fingers.

Using a pair for scissoring.

Need a little extra reach, texture, and pressure during tribbing? Smack two grinders together (their tacky backsides help them stick) and fit them between yourself and a partner.

Not gonna lie, this is tricky for me personally (although I’m not a big scissoring fan to begin with.) I have to be mindful not to move in a way that peels the grinders off each other. Or fuck too hard and put too much pressure on my partner’s vulva. But it’s fun to experiment with different configurations. It’s also great if you – like my partner and I – have a fat vulva, so you need something more to mutually reach your clits.

With a partner.

Too often, we consider sex toys solo tools. But they can enhance shared sexual experiences too.

• Mutual masturbation where you’re each using a grinder and racing to finish first. (The increased physicality and effort that’s inherent to a grinder adds to the competitive feeling.)
• Riding/humping a grinder while making out with your partner.
• Sitting up behind a partner and reaching around them to massage a grinder against their junk.
• Lining more than one grinder on your thigh and encouraging a partner to roll their hips to fuck against all of them.
• Fucking them while they use a grinder on themselves, or bearing down while you fuck them to nudge the grinder against them yourself.

There’s a lot of possibilities.

review: uberrime alia alien silicone grinder

The alien Alia is 5 inches long, but almost half of that is its spindly tail. You can get it on SheVibe in black and blue. It was originally going to be a heart to match the LaBae, and that intention lingers in the abstract. A row of spine-like knuckles defines the Alia’s arched center, fenced in by five small knots on either side. Ridges (legs) line the sloped sides. Face hugger much?

Alia is the model I had the most input on. I wanted a lot of varied surfaces. When I have strap-on sex, there’s a lot of slipping/sliding against the dildo base, and I wanted there to be interesting grinding texture from every angle. Personally, I’d like it even more if it was firmer. Under a lot of pressure/movement I think some of the smaller details get lost.

But for direct rubbing, the Alia is delicious. I like rocking it against me at an angle so my clit can ride over the knots/bumps, with the central ridge and leg ridges rubbing the sides. If I don’t feel like spreading my outer labia (since my clit is “buried”), I can fold the Alia like a taco to make the center spine reach deeper. It also works well for tucking between my labia as a buffer when I want to use a wand vibrator. Instead of moving/rocking the grinder, I move the wand to press different parts of it more firmly against myself.

The tail doesn’t get in the way of most uses. It’s soft, so if it bumps into anything it just folds over. But when we tried doubling it with the LaBae for scissoring, it often got tugged and popped the tacky surfaces apart.

review: uberrime labae labia heart silicone grinder

The heart-shaped LaBae Grinder is 3.5 inches long and about 2.5 wide. It’s a semi-realistic vulva with plump inner labia and an exaggeratedly rounded clitoris. SheVibe carries it in two color combos: purple and blue or pink and blue.

The LaBae is the least texturally intense design from this trio. Its plush and bulbous shaping makes it easy to rub against without resistance. But if you need more than a soft surface to get off with, the LaBae might bore you.

My favorite use for the LaBae is strap-on sex. The smooth swell of the inner labia lips protrude further than the BumpHer’s sleek bumps, so it has an easier time making contact with my clitoris. The LaBae is too smooth to get me off (maybe one day I’ll cajole Uberrime into a vulva grinder with crinkled labia), but I enjoy rutting into/between the labia.

Buster is fonder of this design than I am. The vulva shape makes this toy so fantastically queer. They like to get off with the LaBae by turning it upside down and rubbing it in quick up and down motions, letting the clit bead drag up under their clitoris.

review: uberrime rosae rose silicone grinder

The Rosae (which you can get in purple or teal) is the smallest of this trio of silicone grinders, just 3 inches long. Modeled after a rose, the Rosae is topped with numerous unique petals, which are soft and pliable. When you move against them (or move them against yourself), they bend and flick gently like little tongues. In the Rosae’s center, there’s a clitoris-like bud, which adds a little pop of pressure when the toy is moving.

For humping/riding, it’s alright. Not as straightforward to grind on as Alia or LaBae. The petals compress under my vulva if I don’t rut from the right angle. If you have an exposed clitoris it might be easier to fuck on.

The Rosae is my favorite Uberrime grinder to use by hand. It has the most grippable shape, and its texturing works perfectly for the push-down-and-undulate-in-circles technique. (The center bud interrupts the flow, so I have tilt the Rosae to avoid it.) The petals are different from every angle. When I switch to dip-and-drag motions, I turn it various ways to try different flap clusters. It’s a slick, soppy delight, and it makes the most fapping noise of the trio. I love it.

If you’re only buying one grinder (or you’re on the fence about if they’ll work for you) I’d probably recommend the Rosae over the other two. Its texturing creates touch/friction with less effort on the user’s part, so the learning curve is shorter.

uberrime silicone grinders FAQ

If you have a question I haven’t covered here, leave me a comment or reach out to me at bettybutch@yahoo.com!

What lube can I use with Uberrime Silicone Grinders?

Any water-based or oil-based lube! (Silicone-based lubes can cause erosion/damage to silicone toys.) If you want a specific recommendation, I like Sliquid Sassy. It’s thick and very slick, but it doesn’t dry sticky or goopy. If it starts to dry during a longer session, just spit on it to revive the ingredients – or spritz it with water if you’re a coward, I guess.

What are the care instructions for Uberrime Silicone Grinders?

Wash before and after use. You can use any skin-safe soap, just make sure you rinse it thoroughly! Dried lube, soap, etc, can get forgotten in texture divots. If you need to sanatize your grinder (whether that’s because you used it against your butt, or you want to clean it between partners you’re not fluid-bonded with) you can boil it in water for 2 minutes or soak it with 10% bleach 90% water and rinse.

Actual silicone products (not the “silicon blend” scam shit) can be stored with with other silicone toys without melting. (It can also be stored with glass, ABS plastic, and stainless steel.) So toss it into your favorite sex toy storage without worry.

Soft silicone is like skin: it can be cut/nicked if you’re not careful with it! Avoid stabbing it with your nails or dragging it on rough surfaces, especially on thin parts of the toy.

Wait, you helped make these?

I consulted during the design process on the Alia (and a little bit on the LaBae.) These toys were a collaboration between Aus Sculpts and Uberrime Handmade Dildos.

Can you use Uberrime Silicone Grinders with a buried clitoris?

My partner and I have “buried” clits, meaning our outer labia and pubic mounds are large and obstruct the clitoris from view. We have to hold our labia open.

This does make using a grinder a little tricker sometimes. They’re not as effective for strap-on play, and humping takes some extra situating. They also come into contact with my pubic hair more often than they might for someone with an exposed clit (depending on your hair sitch) so I make sure there’s plenty of lube to avoid catching/tugging.

This trio of Uberrime Grinders are 2.5ish inches across, which is about as wide as a wand vibrator, so they still fit between my outer labia when I spread them. The squishiness of the silicone means I can fold them a little if I absolutely have to. Because they’re so soft, they’re not uncomfortable to accommodate.

So: yes, you can. But expect the usual fupa struggles.

Can you use Uberrime Silicone Grinders with a penis?

Technically, yes! As to how pleasurable that will be, it depends on the person. Do they enjoy surface friction and texture?

I think the Rosae in particular would be pretty delicious, petals sopping with lube and teased against someone’s frenulum. Especially while their penis is pressed back against their groin/belly. Mmm.. anyway! The LaBae might be fun to rut your cockhead against, but keep in mind it’s quite short and there’s not much of a gap.

Thank you, Uberrime, for letting me be part of this project.

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