If you’ve been with your partner(s) long term, you probably have (or have considered having) a designated “date night.” Date nights encourage you to spend time together intentionally, rather than just because you occupy the same space and share a life and routine. In the hustle and bustle of day to day life, it’s so easy to take a partner’s presence for granted. Dedicated quality time helps you reconnect and show your mutual appreciation.

For many folks, having a date night also helps prioritize physical connection and pleasure. While some might scoff at the idea of “scheduled sex,” setting aside time for sexual intimacy means you don’t have to roll the dice and hope you come up with the necessary time, energy, and privacy at random.

One of the many tools at your disposal to make the most of date night? Sex toys.

1. Set the mood and keep it going.

If you and your partner(s) have decided this date night is ending with a literal bang, you don’t have to wait until you’ve kicked off your shoes to turn on the heat.

A great way to maintain sexual tension throughout your date is to incorporate sensuality into the date itself. Maybe that means Netflix and chilling naked, cooking together in lingerie, or accessorizing on a night out with a discreet vibrator necklace. (It’s hard not to think about what you’ll be doing later when the evidence is innocently hanging on your neck!) Maybe it means whispering fantasies to each other while waiting in line or sharing a desert, or dining on a spread of aphrodisiacs and giggling while you rank them by effectiveness.

2. Start your date with a gift.

Unlike birthday presents, date night gifts are ones you intend to share. Chocolate, a co-op video game, tickets to a show – and yes, even a sex toy! After getting your partner’s consent (because nobody likes being pressured with an unwanted surprise), pick up something new, and make sure to charge it before the big night. Gift wrap it for your partner, or ask if they want you to send them a picture of you trying it out first…

Starting the date with a sexy gift helps keep your minds on what – and who – is coming later.

If your partner(s) don’t like the idea of being surprised, you can make shopping for sex toys a date night activity. Browsing the latest sex gadgets together will encourage you to discuss desires and pleasure preferences. It will also give you something to look forward to, since you’ll have to wait until your purchases arrive to use them!

3. “Spice up” a date night activity with teasing/foreplay.

If you’re having a night in, it can sometimes be difficult to see that together time as a date. It’s tempting to sneak in a chore or two (I’m just gonna throw this laundry in –) or get caught up talking about your day to day routine. But the whole point of date night is taking time for yourselves.

One sexy way to keep your mind on the good stuff is incorporating some pleasure play into an aspect of your date that might tempt your mind to wander. Cooking dinner together? Spice it up by giving your partner control over your remote controlled vibe. It’s hard to get distracted by the dishes when you’re struggling to stand!

4. Skip the “date” part of date night.

Who says date night has to be dinner and a movie? Some of us just want the desert!

Ditch masking up to see the latest action flick and instead get right to the action at home. You don’t have to cut your time together short, either – prolong the night by taking your time with foreplay, experimenting with edging, or snacking on some take-out in bed until you’re ready for round two. Don’t forget that sex doesn’t have to center or even include orgasm. Even if you’re spent, you can still enjoy giving and receiving sexual touch.

5. Use a sex toy that’s mutually pleasurable.

Any sex toy can be used during partnered sex, but there’s something to be said about using a toy that provides simultaneous stimulation. For example, the V for Vibes Flora has two vibrating ends – and while someone can hog both sides for themself, you can just as easily scoot up close and share! Whether you’re using your side internally or externally, your physical closeness is sure to inspire roaming hands and mouths, and probably more than a few giggles.

Date night – and date night sex – are all about fostering intimacy and maintaining that spark. Sharing a toy (or toys, if you want/need to grab something separate) allows you to explore your bodies and seek pleasure together in new ways. And partners who adventure together have a lot more to talk about – and even more to look forward to – when the night is over.

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