Forged in the heart of an indie sex toy studio, the mighty hammer Möan-lnir has no equal. It can be a weapon to destroy holes, or a tool to build to glorious orgasm. It is a fit companion for a naughty nerd.

Sent to me earlier in the year by Geeky Sex Toys, Möan-lnir is modeled after Thor’s thunder-summoning weapon of comics and MCU fame. It’s made of body-safe silicone. If you’re unfamiliar with silicone, it’s one of the few sex toy materials that’s non-porous, can be sanitized, and lasts so long humankind hasn’t yet found an expiration date.

Möan-lnir is over 9 inches tall and weighs a hefty 1.4 pounds. Its 7 inch shaft/handle is 1.6 inches in diameter, just a tiny bit above average. However, because the silicone is pretty rigid (it’s a fuckin’ hammer), it feels much girthier in use.

Yes, in use. You can fuck yourself with the power of Thor. For Asgard!

Möan-lnir joins the rest of Geeky Sex Toys’ Indulgers line. The Indulgers include the Arse Reactor, the Incredible Dong, the Infinity Fist, and more. They’re currently lacking a Captain Marvel toy (among others), which seems like a wasted opportunity considering the size of the Carol Corps. (A dildo in the McKelvie costume colors would be amazing…)

geeky sex toys möan-lnir design

Because it’s not super thick Möan-lnir’s firm silicone shaft/handle has some flexibility to it. Not so much that it can be bent in half, but it’s not, like, an unyielding steel rod. The tip is bulbous and oblong, providing a textureless and satisfying initial pop before transitioning into choppy but smooth ridges down the shaft.

Möan-lnir’s base is not flexible. Its solidity and heft makes it an oversized grip that’s easy to hold between your thighs for hands-free use, or to weigh the toy down enough to straddle it with a little less rocking. Just like with the handle, Geeky Sex Toys added small features to keep the head from looking too plain. The ends taper down to look more hammer-like, and their logo is etched into its face.

The coloration of Möan-lnir’s head is what really makes this toy pop. Subtly glittery shades of silver are marbled to give the appearance of dark veins branching across the toy’s surface, like variations in magically forged metal. Contrastly, the handle is a flat brown. I love that this lets the hammer head remain the focus.

It’s important to note that Thor’s hammer in the MCU is nearly twice as tall and like five times as heavy. Möan-lnir is not a 1:1 replica, nor is it trying to be. It’s a dildo!

experiencing möan-lnir ⚡ val..hal..la, i. am. comm~ii~iinngg!

Usually my partner Buster – who is the stunt cunt for penetration reviews because I have vaginismus – prefers their dildos big and squishy. But Möan-lnir’s source material calls for a hard toy, and Buster was more than willing to set aside preferences for the sake of thematic cohesion.

As it turns out, they do like hard dildos. At least when they’re modeled after Thor’s hammer.

Möan-lnir’s finish is kinda matte, meaning it can be draggy even with lube. (Stick to water-based lubes and coconut oil, since silicone lubes can fuck up silicone toys.) The tip, while rounded and wider than the rest of the shaft, has a subtle taper to it that allows for easier insertion. In use, the shaft/handle’s snubbed tip prevents it from being a cervix-poking spear.

The ridges on the shaft aren’t just decorative finger grips. They provide a wave of bumps during thrusting. Buster found them to be pleasant but not as pronounced of a pop as, say, the Uberrime Aqua King’s head notches. Still, if you’re not a fan of texture (or you’re not ready/aroused), this probably isn’t the fuckable hammer for you.

Thrusting Möan-lnir is both easier and harder than thrusting a normal dildo. The hammer head certainly provides an effortless grip… but it’s bulky, so my fingers and wrist tire out faster. The head was more appreciated as a hands-free mount, gripped by Buster’s thighs so they could grind at their leisure. And since Buster prefers using the Möan-lnir for grinding over thrusting, this works out great for us. Grinding with Möan-lnir is pleasurable because its ridges provide just enough internal petting to keep the experience stimulating.

You can’t use Möan-lnir in a harness (that’s a job for HawkAss or Spider-Dildo), but it is anal safe because of the hammer head’s wide flare.

geeky sex toys möan-lnir as an impact toy

Buster and I have been dreaming about mallets for impact play for most of 2019. (I blame Kate Sloan.) So of course we’ve used Möan-lnir! Its solid silicone delivers a sinking, bruising thud! that has way more depth than our usual impact toys. The ache is deep and inescapable. Essentially, it feels like getting punched by someone who knows what they’re doing.

If you turn the hammer and use its flat side instead, the impact feels more like a traditional paddle with a lot of extra weight to its strike.

The only real downside to using Möan-lnir as an impact toy is that its handle/shaft is juuust flexible enough that the hammer wobbles in your grip. This can take me out of the moment sometimes (especially when role playing) but since I’m aware of it, it doesn’t hurt my aim. (I do have to be mindful of it bouncing back.)

I definitely wouldn’t recommend it as someone’s first impact experience. It hurts a bunch!

role playing with möan-lnir

Obviously, Möan-lnir isn’t meant to be a perfect replica for vanilla cosplaying or larping purposes. But for sexy role play and/or sex work like camming? It gets the job done. (Well. Besides sometimes wobbling like a Roger Rabbit prop when you’re brandishing it.)

I love how Geeky Sex Toys’ themed products don’t just help normalize sex toys, they help inspire playful sex. Buster and I started utilizing role play in the bedroom almost as soon as we started fucking, and it’s allowed us to do all kinds of hilarious and kinky things. The MCU is a frequent playground of ours, but Möan-lnir let us get even more creative.

Thor can be pretty tender, but he’s also shown to be impulsive and sometimes aggressive. This sometimes played into how we used Möan-lnir. For pretend angry sex, Möan-lnir’s firm handle is the perfect brutal tool for (consensual) rough fucking. Möan-lnir is also fun to use with feigned carelessness, its firm silicone wedging hard and deep with thoughtlessly cruel thrusts.

I especially liked playing with it for bondage purposes. Because only those who are worthy of wielding it can lift it, placing it on top of another character renders them immobile.

And placing it inside of someone? Means they can’t move their hips around for further sexual relief. Edging is fun.

It’s been delightful playing around with these concepts as part of scenes. Almost as delightful as booming out Thor lines. (I’d apologize to my neighbors but they all voted for Trump anyway. Loud scene reenactments? ANOTHER!)

how long does it take for geeky sex toys to arrive?

Geeky Sex Toys is an Australia-based company that does all of their own designing and a majority of their own manufacturing. Toys are generally made to order. Because they’re handmade, colorations can vary, and it takes a few days after you place an order for it to ship.

It can take up to 3 weeks for packages to arrive in the US, mostly because of customs. However, Möan-lnir only took 6 days. March’s delivery of Dix the Destroyer only took a little longer than that, about a week and a half. Our GST packages were delivered right to our door in discreet white boxes from “Geeky Enterprises”. The customs label says the box contains “figurines”.

Möan-lnir came with a silicone pedestal for display, cotton drawstring storage bag, and a care sheet designed like a comic book page.

final thoughts on geeky sex toys’ möan-lnir

Möan-lnir was actually the first Geeky Sex Toys product I asked to review, but some things came up and we decided to try Dix first. I love Drax, but as a huge fan of Thor, Möan-lnir has always been my favorite Geeky Sex Toys design. I’m so glad it lived up to my expectations!

This is a very well-made toy. Though I’ve complained about the hammer wobbling when you wave it around, that bit of give is actually appreciated. It prevents Möan-lnir from being too hard and no fun to fuck.

Still, if you’re not a fan of firm, textured dildos? Mnewmnew is not for youyou. (Unless, like Buster, you’re willing to set aside preference for the novelty.) I also wouldn’t recommend it as someone’s first ever toy, because although it’s not much larger than average, its dense silicone and ridges would be intense for unpracticed holes.

Möan-lnir is a fun role play prop that begs to be played with as soon as you pick it up – but it’s also a solid sex toy that carries the thunder god theme through the sex itself.

If you want to harness the power of Thor for yourself, you can find Möan-lnir exclusively on Geeky Sex Toys for $110 USD. Get 5% off your order with code BETTY at checkout.

 

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Thank you, Geeky Sex Toys, for sending me the Möan-lnir Avengers Thor Dildo in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links were used in this post.