Princette Puppypus is a purple octopod from an aquatic planet. They love pizza, butt stuff, and lube. Together with their friends Starsi and Trinity, they adventure through space in a dick-shaped craft called the FriendShip.

They’re also a vibrator.

When SheVibe told me they’d be stocking Cute Little Fuckers – sex toys designed and made by disabled queer folks – I was overjoyed. The sex toy industry needs more indie companies run by marginalized creators. Queer, trans, and disabled folks have historically been under-served or ignored as customers. Who better to make pleasure products for us than us?

cute little fuckers princette puppypus design

Puppypus is charmingly small, standing less than 3 inches high. The toy’s head – which features an adorable alien face and ears – is 1.7 inches at its widest. While designed to be versatile in use, Princette Puppypus’s bulbous head and flared arms make “butt plug” its most obvious function.

The toy’s surface is sleek and silky-soft, but the silicone itself is on the firm side. There’s almost no squish to Puppypus’s head when squeezed, and their legs – while flexible – are a little bit pokey. All of Puppypus’s features are smooth, so nothing is supposed to scratch or stab you during play.

Princette Puppypus houses a rechargeable, waterproof bullet vibe. The 10 vibration settings are controlled by a single button on the base. There’s 5 steady speeds and 5 patterns. The marketing describes the toy’s bullet vibrator as interchangeable, but it’s a finger-cramping, nail-cracking struggle to remove it. If you don’t have some serious grip strength (which I don’t), it ain’t happening.

Cute Little Fuckers packaged the Princette Puppypus Vibrator in a delightful collectors’ box. As someone with more action figures than fingers, I love this geeky touch.

I also love that the toy is humanized, with its own identity, personality, and backstory. I know most of my fellow bloggers are squicked by toy personification. But as a lover of monster dildos and naming every inanimate object in my house, I love it. It’s fun, uniquely queer, and adds an extra playful, personable element to the marketing.

the puppypus’s vibrations

Bad news, power royalty. This one’s not for us.

The Puppypus’s vibrations are buzzy and shallow. Its fifth and highest speed rests somewhere above the Noje Fauna Mini Wand’s second setting – but without the Mini Wand’s rumbly depth. My body needs vibrations to be either powerful or thuddy (preferably both) and the Puppypus’s bullet is neither. It’s almost as gentle as the oh-so-mild Iroha Zen, but itchier.

I use the word “itchy” intentionally: the vibrations crawl all over the toy, so your fingers get a side buzz. That’s normal for a toy so small, but it can be aggravating if you have sensory sensitivities. My hands just don’t appreciate vibrations like my junk does!

To make matters worse, Princette Puppypus doesn’t conduct its own vibrations very well. Most of the bullet’s power is smothered out by the time it reaches the toy’s surface. When I apply pressure – trying to cram the toy more firmly against my clit to get some kind of relief – the vibrations just get more muffled.

I’d love to be able to swap Princette Puppypus’s bullet out for a stronger one (Blush Power Vibe and We-Vibe Tango seem like ideal candidates) but after weeks of trying to get the sucker loose, I have to admit I can’t do it. I don’t have the hand strength. The Uberrime Dragon Claw Sleeve is made of softer silicone that can be pushed/bunched/scootched, but Puppypus is rigid, and there’s not a molecule of wiggle room in the bullet cavity.

If you like your vibrations light, buzzy, and super indirect, you might still like Princette Puppypus. As I pointed out in my Iroha Zen review, some people like their vibrations extra mild!

vibrator shape and function

The toy’s shape is charming when it’s sitting on my desk (it’s getting a permanent spot on my shelf), but it’s frustrating when I try to use it on my body.

The vibrations are too weak to work through my fleshy labia, so to reach my clit I have to spread them. Princette Puppypus’s bulky head is difficult to angle in a way I find pleasurable. Their spindly legs make the toy comfortable and intuitive to hold, but they also get in the way, poking and prodding my labia when I try to tilt the toy. Turning it around and using one of the legs on my clit doesn’t do me any good either – the vibrations are even fainter.

Friction from rubbing off on a textured toy can sometimes make up for disappointing vibrations. Unfortunately my clit can’t make meaningful/prolonged grinding contact with Puppypus’s facial features. The details are too small, flat, and smooth, and most of their face is unreachable because the legs block the necessary angles.

I chose Puppypus over the Trinity and Starsi because I love their pug-like face, but it adds nothing to the toy’s functionality for me. In hindsight, I wish the face was larger and had more varying texture.

the puppypus as a butt plug

An obvious reason for the Princette Puppypus Vibrator’s details being muted and smooth is that Cute Little Fuckers wanted to make sure it wasn’t too abrasive for anal play.

Unfortunately for my partner Buster’s butt, that didn’t work out. Even with lots of lube, Puppypus’s face was proddy and pinchy.

On paper, the Princette Puppypus’s egg-shaped body and firm silicone seem like an alright intermediate butt plug. You’ve got the slightly tapered tip for easier insertion, a girthy head for a filling fit, and a narrower neck/body so the sphincter can relax a little. To Buster’s surprise, the spindly feet – which serve as a flared base so the toy doesn’t get pulled too deep – weren’t pokey to wear.

But that face! Every subtle nub dragged over Buster’s butthole, the rigid silicone not giving even a little bit. After insertion, the plug continued to grate every time they moved. It was deeply unpleasant and Buster removed it after only a few minutes of play, sore and annoyed with my job.

final thoughts on the puppypus

This toy is not for me. I need stronger vibrations and/or a squishier, textured surface to rub off on. It’s also not for my partner (or anyone who has an eager but sensitive butthole.) Princette Puppypus’s sexy space adventure ultimately ends on the bookshelf in my filming space, beloved in concept only.

Honestly, though, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying not-quite great, “gimmicky” toys just for the joy of the theme. I absolutely scurried Puppypus across my partner’s body, narrating what I imagined their voice to be, until Buster hit me with a pillow because they’re a joyless cynic. Having a little purple octopod sex companion, designed by disabled queer artists, is awesome.

I hope to see Puppypus, Starsi, and Trinity joined by more cute little fuckers in the future. Maybe CLF can source some more powerful bullet vibes, or else design a much more compact alien that better carries the vibrations. I’ll be first in line.

If mild vibrations with an easy hand-hold are your thing, you can find the Princette Puppypus Vibrator on SheVibe.

Thank you, SheVibe, for sending me the Princette Puppypus Rechargeable Waterproof Vibrator in exchange for an honest review. 

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