Two reviews in a single day, and they’re on complete opposite ends of the feelings spectrum! Peepshow Toys has me stretchin’ my writer muscles, y’all.

When Peepshow Toys offered to send me the Temptasia Harness for review, they also asked that I pick a dildo from the corresponding line. Among these was the Temptasia Reina: a slim teal dildo with a bulbous head, a single rounded bump at the base, and a suction cup. I recognized the design as being a clone of the dual-density Nude Ergo Mini, but unlike the Mini, the Reina is a single-density silicone. It’s soft and yielding inside and out!

And a slim, soft dildo was exactly what I was looking for. Vaginal penetration is pretty painful for me, but I’ve been craving it like nothing else. So with Buster sporting the aforementioned cheeky harness briefs, and with an upcoming short stay at a house with an actual bathtub, I was looking for the Temptasia Reina Silicone Dildo to be great at three things: strap-on play, comfortable insertion, and suction cup strength.

In all three regards, I was sorely disappointed.

The Temptasia Reina is 5.5 inches of insertable body-safe silicone, with a few extra inches devoted to its decorative bump and flat suction cup base. Its widest point – the head – is 1.4ish inches in width, which is often called “beginner friendly.” For many folks like me, beginner is a size we can only aspire to.

And I definitely got ahead of myself, because my junk was not ready for this dildo.

Inserting this toy was not the easy, comfortable experience I was hoping for. Visually, the head doesn’t seem all that larger than the rest of the dildo, but in use it’s very apparent to my unyielding vagina. Getting it in took a great deal more lube, breathing exercises, and willpower than the equally girthy Avant Pride P2, which saves its widest point for midway down the shaft. When fucking myself, I was unnerved by width variation, as the head was a constant drag that seemed determined not to let my vag adjust.

This is definitely an experience specific to me – Buster popped the Reina in with no problem, and actually found its head to be unoffensive and pleasantly stimulating (almost like a scaled down version of the Avant D2.) The Reina was too soft to do much with their g-spot, but angling the dildo downward proved particularly pleasurable as the rounded nose played gently over their vaginal wall. Though yielding/bendable, it still has enough rigidity to maintain its angle and not fold or flop out of place.

The Reina is also completely smooth; like every other Blush Novelties dildo I’ve come into contact with, there are no seams from its creation. It has no texturing (besides the subtle dragginess of Blush’s silicone), though there are two artistic veins gliding up from the base’s bulb. Neither of us felt them in use, so like the unnecessary urethra divot on the head and the ballsack-inspired bulb, they seem to be purely for decoration. I definitely prefer Blush’s more eccentric visual stylings over the vague/coy penis-inspired aesthetic.

But though the Reina proved to have too girthy of a head for me to relax with, I still had two avenues of judgment I wanted adequate testing to discuss. Lucky for my irritable junk, the Reina was so incompetent at both that it didn’t require a whole lot of use to make up my mind.

The first was, of course, using the dildo with the Temptasia Harness Briefs (you can read my glowing review here.) You know, the whole reason I was sent the Temptasia Reina in the first place? A quick glance at the Reina before tucking it into the harness’s silicone ring had already foretold its doom, but we gave it the ol’ college experimentation try anyhow… and within 60 seconds, it had jostled free of the ring. There’s just not enough lip to the base beneath the decorative bump to hold it in place. As soon as the wearer begins to move their hips or holds the dildo to better angle it for partner insertion, the lip pops free of the ring, destabilizing the dildo and – in one hilariously awkward case – making it flop out completely. A smaller ring than the harness’s wouldn’t help either, as the issue isn’t a loose fit but rather a poorly proportioned base. It’s a complete failure as a strap-on dildo, because it can’t be ‘strapped’!

The non-centered placement of the Reina and its artistically shapeless ballsack is likely what makes its suction cup suck too. In an equally baffling fail, my attempt at sticking it to the inside of the fantastic tub in our temporary lodgings had the same results: within seconds, the Reina squelched out of place. It didn’t just slide or scoot, it straight up couldn’t stay suctioned to the tub. Trying it on the bathroom’s wall and tile floor, as well as the guest bedroom’s wood floor, bore the same embarrassing experience. The cup couldn’t achieve a meaningful seal that wasn’t broken as soon as the dildo was tilted. And I am a large boi with bad knees; any dick I crouch on or scoot back into is going to get angled around accordingly.

I’m at a total loss. Blush has some great suction cup bases on their other dildos. The Avant Pride P2 and P3 could win at arm-wrestling with Triple H. The Avant D2, which has an entirely different cup design than the Pride line, works great. Even the Real Nude Ergo, whose base doesn’t look like it could be a suction cup at all, achieves a firm seal. All of them double as great, sturdy bases for strap-ons. What the hell happened with the Temptasia Reina?

Ironically, and as is often the case with downsides to toys, the ill-designed base of the Temptasia Reina Silicone Dildo does have an upside: it’s a comfortable handhold for solo play. Buster holds it by pinching it between their thumb and two fingers (which can tuck into the divot on the back); because the dildo itself is affixed to the lower portion of the base, there’s ample room to get a good grip. So there’s that.

I had high hopes for the Temptasia Reina. It’s a lovely color that defies the industry’s obsession with pink and purple, it’s not blatantly modeled after a dick, and it’s fairly and affordably priced. But… both the box and the online adverts promised harness compatibility and suction cup usage. And neither are viable. If I buy a toy that labels itself a vibrator and it can’t vibrate, no matter how pretty or affordable it is, it’s still a dud. Being overly ambitious about what I could handle size- and shape-wise was my own ignorance. But the Reina’s mostly useless base is a genuine flaw.

If you know the sizing is right for you, and you’re looking for a solo handhold-friendly dildo with a slightly larger head, the Temptasia Reina is a body-safe steal at $24 USD. But if you were hoping to use the Reina in a harness or by suctioning it to a flat surface, then this toy will only disappoint you.

You can purchase the Temptasia Reina Silicone Dildo from Peepshow Toys, or peruse their selection of other (usually better) Blush Novelties dildos.

Thank you, Peepshow Toys, for sending me the Temptasia Reina in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links were used in this post.