After five years of writing sex toy reviews, I’ve collected a small army of tentacle dildos. The latest is The Kraken’s Revenge Fantasy G-Spot Dildo, a design collaboration between Uberrime Handmade Dildos and SheVibe.
Most tentacle dildos are shaped like squiggles or cones, but Kraken’s Revenge is curved like a C. This makes it easier to target the g-spot!
That being said, I don’t think it’s the curve that makes the Kraken’s Revenge so special… It’s the texture.
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kraken’s revenge design and features
The Uberrime Kraken’s Revenge Dildo is one of the most visually intricate tentacle toy designs I’ve ever seen.
The shaft is made of several tentacles wrapped together, trapping a pair of classic treasure chests and a diver in one of those oldschool diving helmets. Now they’re doomed to be drawn into your depths! Concave suckers of various sizes, knobby skin texturing, and the beady eye of the beast add further detail and tactile interest to the piece.
To make this texturing easier to take, the Kraken’s Revenge is made of soft silicone. You can easily bend it and it has some squish when squeezed. Silicone is my favorite body-safe material. It’s hypoallergenic (so it won’t irritate even sensitive skin) and non-porous (which means it can be fully sanitized.)
The proportions of Kraken’s Revenge Fantasy Dildo are as unique as the design. The tip of the dildo is just over an inch in diameter – that’s like a finger and a half. The middle of the shaft is about 1.7 inches in diameter (above average for dildos and penises.) But Kraken quickly gains a lot more girth from there! If you’re not used to large insertables, keep Kraken’s upsizing in mind.
The bottom of the toy is a slope that – depending on your anatomy – can provide something to rub off on while the shaft is inside you. It’s like a built-in silicone grinder!
The Kraken’s Revenge is technically anal safe despite not having a traditional flared base. The shaft is angled and widens dramatically towards the bottom. Unless you personally push it all the way in or use a fist or much larger toy first, the Kraken isn’t going to plunge past your limits. The lack of flare does mean this toy can’t be used in a strap-on harness.
SheVibe – who designed this toy – currently carry the Kraken’s Revenge Fantasy Dildo in 3 color variations. There’s Triton’s Voyage (vibrant pink, blue, and purple), Nemo’s Descent (murky blue-green), and Neptune’s Kingdom (neon green and blue.)
our experience: riding & g-spotting
Ideally, using the Kraken’s Revenge Dildo would work like this: you slide it in so the curve wraps around your internal pubic bone like a hug. You then either straddle the base (perhaps saddling up on a pillow for support) or hold it tight against your body by hand. This allows you to rock and rub your clit against the flared out slope at the bottom of the toy, with all its squishy suckers.
(And Kraken’s suckers are soooo good – but more on that in the next section.)
This technique works best if you have a protruding clit. My partner Buster – who tests all the insertables for this blog – has a “buried clit,” obscured by thick outer labia. They can grind on the Kraken’s Revenge if they fold the toy more (leaving the shaft only partially inserted), but a bump out where the slope is would work so much better for them. They could spread their labia around it.
Given the Kraken’s Revenge’s ridability, I wish it could fit in a thigh harness for easier straddling. But alas! The limited base also makes it tricky to hold if you’re using it on yourself, because there’s not much to grasp.
By title, the Kraken’s Revenge Fantasy G-Spot Dildo promises some g-spot stimulation. The curved, pointed tip is reminiscent of the “come hither” technique, wherein you curl your fingers to stroke the urethral sponge (the part of the vaginal wall with the g-spot.)
Being a soft toy, Kraken’s Revenge isn’t going to offer the same impact as something like the Le Wand Arch. Instead, its pointed tip – which is snubbed so it’s not as pokey as other tentacles – prods and strokes with the gentle cephalopodic curiosity. It requires fine-tune concentration (unlike a toy with a fat mushroom head) because it’s narrow and can catch/curl if you nudge at the wrong angle.
To Buster, the real g-spot appeal – and the appeal of the Kraken’s Revenge in general – is the textural smorgasbord.
our experience: suckers & sounds
Holy Poseidon the TEXTURE!
The squishy spiraling ridges of the Kraken’s Revenge Dildo’s tentacles and the soft tug of their many suckers are an ever-present massage as the toy is thrust. The suckers provide a gentle pulling sensation (since there’s a bit of air present) against your internal walls. The sensation really feeds into the fantasy of being cephalofucked. The less traditional texturing – the diver and treasure chests – are so well-incorporated in the design that they don’t stand out as uncomfortable or strange.
This dildo has gotten more use as a grinder than an insertable. Buster really likes rubbing the entire length over their vulva, tilting and turning the shaft to slickly hump the various ridges and whorls.
The texturing has a delightful byproduct: the erotic, sloppy sluice of wet sound that comes with every quick thrust. Lube is a must with any silicone toy, but slickness is especially important with a toy like the Kraken’s Revenge. Textured tentacle toys tend to be “noisy” (as any hentai enthusiast would want!), but the audible sucks and slorps produced by the Kraken’s Revenge are even raunchier.
Frustratingly, there is one flaw to the dense texturing (what I’ve nicknamed Kraken’s Revenge’s revenge.) On the lower backside of the toy, just above the treasure chest, there are two suckers that stick out just a little too much. According to Buster’s testing notes, “lube/slick dribbles around these suckers instead of on/in them because of how the rims are angled, I think? So even though the toy is soft, these two kinda poke. Especially on long thrusts where they skim near my vaginal opening.”
Whether or not these two suckers will suck for you too is gonna depend on the shape, angle, and sensitivity of your vagina – and that can vary a lot!
To compensate for this, Buster likes to turn the toy over (tip curving down.) This direction pushes the Kraken’s Revenge Dildo’s backside arch against their front wall instead, which is less friendly to their pubic bone but provides a broader textural massage. The two sucky suckers don’t cause any problems at this angle. But turning the toy over robs you of the opportunity to grind your clit against the base.
final thoughts on kraken’s revenge
The Kraken’s Revenge Fantasy G-Spot Tentacle Dildo is a fuckable story. The Kraken’s motivations and diver’s fate are up to your imagination. Or maybe they’re mysteries you have no interest in pondering because you’re too busy plunging this tentacle into the depths.
Like every other tentacle, there are drawbacks and limitations to the shape of Kraken’s Revenge. It’s more vagina-friendly than a traditional cone or squiggle style tentacle dildo. But my partner still found its shape cumbersome to finagle. It’s fun to ride, but how much fun is going to depend on how well you can grind your clit on its sloped base.
The texture is some of the best (and noisiest) we’ve ever encountered. If you’re after a more titillating experience than a few veins on a realistic dildo or flat, uniform suckers on a tamer tentacle, the Kraken’s Revenge will tickle your fancy. It’ll tickle your g-spot, too – if you’re patient about the angle.
Find the Uberrime Kraken’s Revenge Fantasy G-Spot Tentacle Dildo on SheVibe in Triton’s Voyage, Nemo’s Descent, or Neptune’s Kingdom.
Thank you, SheVibe, for sending me the Kraken’s Revenge in exchange for an honest review. I consider Marco (Uberrime’s founder) a friend, but that doesn’t influence my opinions of their toys except to give me additional insight and appreciation for the artistry. I still hate the Amo (functionally, not aesthetically.)
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