Happy Saturday, y’all.

It may seem a little premature for me to hop on the #ShareOurShitSaturday train since my blog is only a week old and still on its colt’s legs, but what better way to celebrate becoming part of the “our” than by spreading the love?

So here we go!

I hate those boys.

You know the ones.

The ones that stay behind.

They take up space.

Take up my time.

Uninvited, in my mind.

Androphobia by Angel of Lupespace

I wanted to start this SoSS with a post that caught me off guard and became my favorite post of the week – a poem! I’m not much of a poetry reader, but this one’s been in the back of my mind ever since I read it. I won’t spoil it by nattering on, so please go read it! The imagery is fantastic. Angel is a spectacular writer.

And while you’re at it, give The Elephant in the Room a read. It’s so important to see people who look and live like you being included and valued by the communities you participate in; I’m white, but I’m aggressively queer, and until I found BexTalksSex and CyborgDicks’s blogs, I wondered if I’d be a good fit for the sex blogging community. Bloggers of privilege, make sure you’re regularly boosting marginalized creators’ work so that their voices can be heard over the overwhelming whiteness, cisness, abled-ness, etc. Help us find each other!

Please do follow LupeSpace on Twitter!

When we use it, I have to be bound and gagged. If I wasn’t the entire North East of England would know Ella was getting a good thrashing.

Bound to Please Silicone Paddle by Ella Scandal of Scandarella

In the past, Buster and I incorporated a lot of rough punishment in our sex life. Our current living situation doesn’t allow for noisy impact play, so we’ve had to dial back the good times – but Ella’s review has me eager to get back to my blood-tinged bruise days of yesteryear. (Buster’s blood-tinged bruises, I should say. I’m a damn coward and get pouty if I get more than the mildest of spankings.)

This review was funny and informative, like most of Ella’s writing. You can also find Ella on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

There’s always that person. […] That person you loath the second they open their mouth. They don’t realize that the pitch of their voice is like nails grating on a chalkboard.

Quaker by VēDO by Veronica Lea of Vulva, Ink

I actually have the Quaker on my SheVibe wishlist because I dig the size and I’ve wanted to try a vibrating bead-styled plug. Its description promises a “powerful motor,” but it delivers unsatisfactory results and Veronica does not hold back from giving it the thrashing it deserves. Her review is informative and, despite the toy’s shortcomings, her approval in other areas is enough for me to keep it on my wishlist… for now.

Give the full review – including very cozy pictures of the Quaker – a look, and then follow Vulva, Ink on Twitter!

If you’re a fan of consensual humiliation or service-based kink, you might enjoy one (or both) of these…

What’s in My Toybox: Gag Edition by Violet of A Poly Princess

Oh my god, you guys. I am absolutely drooling (heh) with jealousy over Violet’s sizable gag collection, which includes all the ribbons, straps, and broccoli a mouthy sub could ever want! I’ve been curious about adult pacifiers lately and there were plenty of those to enviously pout over as well. Violet assembled it so nicely, I forgot it was adult content and kept scrolling through it in public. Oops.

After you’re done lamenting your inferior collection (and maybe following that up by pouring over her Kinky Sex Party Bag), follow A Poly Princess on Twitter and Instagram.

“I like assignments with clear parameters,” I elucidate at length, “because I like knowing exactly how to make someone happy and being able to do it exactly right.”

Do You Want It Too? by Kate Sloan of Girly Juice

It’s not exactly breaking news that Kate writes some very sexy, vulnerable stuff. I wanted to quote a sexier line (and there are many; Kate laces eroticism into introspection like nobody I’ve ever read before) but it was this one that stood out to me, because it was like reading my own thoughts in someone else’s words.

This is also the piece that cajoled me into asking Buster to play as my daddy dom in bed the other night. The results were exquisite and we’ll be doing it again for sure.

Kate can also be found on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Obviously the idea of a company sending out used sex toys is horrific, and these two reviews were about toys that are made from materials that we know can’t even be sanitized. It’s too gross for me to even think about, and I really hope these allegations are not true.

[VIDEO] The Truth About Adam & Eve by Erika Lynae of The Ins and Outs

I watch a lot of Youtube, and it’s been discouraging seeing Youtuber after Youtuber do Adam & Eve sponsored videos. On the one hand, I know how awful the company is and how pervasive toxic toys are on their site; on the other, I know folks need the money and might not see educational comments in the ocean of spam they get daily. Erika is informative but compassionate in her video and doesn’t condemn the uniformed while she serves up concise, research-backed knowledge. You can read a transcript of the video on her site.

You can support Erika Lynae on Patreon, as well as follow her on Twitter and Youtube.

The exaggerated upward bend, combined with the extra stimulation added by the veiny texture of the shaft, felt beyond superb!

I Got the Magic Stick… by Laurieann Vicsson of Backwoods Bedroom

Listen, I’m gonna be honest. This toy terrifies me. It’s covered in straining veins that wouldn’t be out of place on Poppa Pump (thanks for the reference, Buster!), and it has a big ole wrinkly pouchy sack. Since I don’t like realistic dildos (could you tell?), I’m not the intended audience for this review – but, damnit, Laurieann takes great pictures and these were in the snow and I couldn’t resist. If you like realism in your purple dicks, you should read about her experience with its just-right size and useful suction cup base. If that’s not your thing, you can also enjoy her superb photography in her review of the Sola Cue – that toy is pretty enough to deserve her keen camera eye.

Check out Backwoods Bedroom on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

There were so many other pieces I loved this week. Lilly’s Zumio review (don’t tell me what to do Zumio), Kitten’s review of the Adrian Lastic Caress (kind of felt like he was coming at me with an alien creature), Piph’s review of the SenseVibe (I wouldn’t go so far as to call the SenseVibe an orgasm ruiner…), etc etc etc. So. Many. Posts. I’d love to go on and on at length about more of the things I read and loved this week, but if I want this to get out on Saturday* I have to cut myself off here.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend in whatever form it takes and finds fresh inspiration for the coming week. My goal for this upcoming week is to get over my anxiety and leave more comments on others’ work rather than just coo in appreciation from afar.

*Sunday night, apparently. Turns out I never figured out how to schedule this for automatic posting and since this is my wedding anniversary weekend, I haven’t had time to get it posted until now. Oops!