Do I have the spoons to do a monthly favorites/wrap-up post? Probably not! Especially since I cant be concise to save my life! But we’re going to give it a shot anyway, because I have things I want to share that aren’t suitable for their own blog posts. And Kate Sloan and Suz Ellis both seem to have a lot of fun with theirs!

Out of the Toy Chest

❤ Blush Novelties sent me a care package a few weeks ago, and while there are hits (Real Nude Ergo) and misses (Aria Hue G), overall I’m as impressed as usual. Blush wants to make good shit and price it so that it’s affordable, and it shows. My review queue is going to be Blush-dominated for awhile and I am totally fine with that. This week I received even more of their products (a harness, a dildo, and a possible Tango rival) from Peepshow Toys and I can’t wait to try them out!

❤ This month I have spent most of my time with the Sola Cue (sent to me by the amazing folks at Big Oh! Box.) Though I have a proper review for it in the works, here’s a summary/spoiler: it’s a strong, blissfully rumbly vibrator, and I’d use it even more often if it didn’t have such an annoyingly short charge life. I’ve never had a toy so regularly tap out on me. Buster likes it as well and it never lasts long enough for both of us to use it in a single session.

❤ Buster had an off month because of a too-vigorous fucking that left them sore and sensitive (sorry, daddy!), so they mostly steered clear of penetration toys and wands with deep vibrations. Instead, they used their fingers or the Satisfyer Pro Penguin 2, which has been their favorite toy since we bought it at the beginning of the year. It’s cute and its pressure-wave stimulation (kiiinda like suction?) is great for when Buster wants something affirming for their junk. We often roleplay their clit/dick is in a suction style machine, milking them dry while they writhe; I love being mean, and kinda-sorta medical play is a really great foundation for it.

❤ I still use Sliquid Shine to clean all our toys after use. I know warm water and gentle soap works just fine, but I feel like Shine makes it easier to clean flaky toys I’ve left in the sink overnight because I was too tired or sub spacey to wash them.

Into the Bedroom

Not much sex was actually had this past month! I was recovering from the dysphoria-inducing return of my period, and Buster shied away from sex as their vagina recovered from the aforementioned overly zealous fuck. But we still managed two particularly memorable sessions in addition to some comfortably lazy toy testing.

❤ Buster’s 30th birthday was at the end of May, but birthday celebrations aren’t for broke people so we enjoyed it with sex instead. We purposefully indulged in positions we don’t often bother with because we don’t own a harness and keeping dildos in place with my bare thigh results in unfun bruises and (sometimes) dysphoria. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, on our sides – none of these positions are revolutionary, but impulsively pushing Buster around to fuck them however I wanted was invigorating and hot. I gripped their hips, their tits, their hair; I bit and growled and laughed and tried to remind them that sex with them is precious to me, their body is precious to me, and I want them in every single way I can have them. They’re mine by their choice, and that’s a daily gift for which I’m breathless with gratitude. And/or breathless with exertion.

❤ The day after I published my review of the Avant Pride P2 trans pride dildo, I decided I wanted to take a crack at fitting it inside me. (Buster is my stunt cunt for reviews and their feedback is what I rate penetration toys by, including the P2!) The silicone is so soft and pliable, I thought my body might actually be able to accommodate the head – just the head – and it would be more pleasant than the rigid Tantus Ripple Small, which I use as a dildo on the rare occasion I’m wanting penetration. I subbed out, sprawled over Buster’s lap, and let them slowly work me up to it.  With the help of a lot of Sliquid, Buster was able to not only fit the head but the entire dildo in my usually unyielding vag. It hurt like a motherfucker, but I took it all without even realizing it, lulled by Buster’s calm, mild encouragement: “That’s it, baby, you can take it for me… you’re being such a good boy.” Guh.

The Pleasant Distractions

❤ We have been fucking obsessed with Billions lately. It’s a television drama centered on the rivalry between a vicious and arrogant U.S. attorney, an equally arrogant and no less vicious hedge fund manager, and a brilliant no-bullshit psychiatrist (who is both married to the attorney, and working for the hedge fund manager.) There’s BDSM portrayed in a respectful way, there’s interesting side characters including a nonbinary analyst (my entire reason for watching in the first place), there’s rotating character motivations. The narrative refuses to let any character be the moral compass for the show because they’re almost all despicable (without being so off-putting you can’t enjoy watching.) The writing is sharp, shocking, and rarely exploitative.

❤ Not too long ago, I bought Kink Academy’s 365 Days of Kink: A Journey of Sexy Self-Discovery, which is basically a journal with a daily BDSM thought exercise. Though I don’t write in it as intended, Buster and I have had a lot of fun flipping to a random page and discussing its topic together. Some of the prompts fall flat, but most of them have ignited some really interesting discussions that I can’t believe we haven’t had before! I actually highly recommend it for those looking to dig a little deeper in themselves or with their partner(s). If folks are interested in a proper review of it, let me know!

❤ Pokemon Go is getting a pair of companion games on the Nintendo Switch in November: Let’s Go, Eevee! and Let’s Go, Pikachu! While I don’t own a Switch (or any gaming console; they often fall victim to pawning), I know I’ll be saving up for one specifically for this game. I’ve started playing Pokemon Go again as often as I can, and it’s been a fun way to distract myself from anxiety in public. My friend list is swamped but Buster’s code is 752496259875, if you’d like to get occasional presents from Universal or Daytona Beach!

Some Reordered Priorities

❤ I only have two usable outlets in my RV (which we live in full-time), because it was designed in the 80’s when all you needed was a toaster and a curling iron and you were good to go. They’re ridiculously inconveniently placed (one directly over the toilet, and one on the underside of the cabinet above my kitchen table.) This has caused a lot of fucking stress in my life… so after an entire year of perpetually dead phones and toys and frustrated cord juggling every time I needed an outlet, Buster and I decided (even though it was pricey) to buy three outlet adapters to help keep up with our modern needs. A three outlet tap, a six outlet / 2 usb adapter, and a Power Strip Tower. All of them have been great, but the tower in particular is amazing and totally worth the investment. I can charge so many things at once, and still have my TV and laptop plugged in!

❤ Twice in recent weeks, we took a trip out to Universal and got caught in a torrential downpour. Being autistic, I have a lot of sensory sensitivities, and unexpected or prolonged exposure to them can cause a meltdown or shutdown. Ordinarily, being stuck in wet clothes is one of my biggest oh-hell-no’s, but on both occasions I decided to jump out into the rain and just fucking dance in that shit. Though this year has been stressful in many ways, I’ve overall been extraordinarily lucky and wanted to spend a few minutes in the moment to just celebrate perseverance. The ride home was pretty miserable both times, but I chose it for myself and it was worth the joyful exhilaration.

Celebrating the Motivators

At the end of June, Lilly of DangerousLilly launched her 10 Salty Years Giveaway. Lilly’s blog was my catalyst for pursuing good, body safe toys. I had internalized for my entire adult life that gross jelly toys were all I could afford and that their problems (bad smells, vaginal burning, molding, etc) were normal and endurable. Her dedicated, well-researched and often snarky writing not only educated me but reassured me that everyone is worth safe toys. Long before I had the money to get new ones, I threw out our jelly dildos and eagerly saved back to make my first purchase from Tantus… now I have many toys and run my own blog! Lilly inspired in me a sense of agency over both my toy choices and my sex life, two things I hadn’t even realized I had been just coasting through. She changed my life, and while she says she’s not sure how much longer she’ll continue blogging, her influence can be felt throughout the industry – including in the writings of new bloggers like me, who wouldn’t be here without her.

Here’s to hoping for an even better July. ✌

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