{"id":9233,"date":"2024-12-30T22:35:24","date_gmt":"2024-12-30T22:35:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bettybutch.com\/?p=9233"},"modified":"2024-12-30T22:48:11","modified_gmt":"2024-12-30T22:48:11","slug":"onward-and-upward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bettybutch.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/30\/onward-and-upward\/","title":{"rendered":"Onward and upward."},"content":{"rendered":"
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sleepy screenshot from a video filmed a few months ago<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Lengthy, unexplained hiatuses are pretty common on this blog. As a disabled person<\/a> who always seems to be going through some kind of shit<\/a>, I often disappear for months at a time with only a vague tweet or two to mark the absence.<\/p>\n

But in the 7 years I\u2019ve been writing about sex toys, 2024 is the first time I\u2019ve gone an entire<\/em> year without posting a single review.<\/p>\n

There were a number of reasons. The first, honestly, is that this blog stopped making any money. I never consistently made a living wage, but during the pandemic\u2019s early years I was making a few hundred bucks a month. By 2023, Google\u2019s AI-doused enshittification had eroded my traffic. Several of my affiliate shops had either transitioned to new affiliate platforms that weren\u2019t as effective at tracking referrals, or closed their affiliate programs completely. This year there hasn\u2019t been a single month where I\u2019ve made enough from affiliate sales to pay for my site hosting and other blogging fees. It sapped my already wavering motivation.<\/p>\n

(That being said, don\u2019t worry \u2013 this blog is here to stay. I just need to do some soul-searching on how best to share educated insights on sex toys while also honoring the value of my own time and sanity. And maybe figure out how to better deliver those insights \u2013 cus 2700 words on a subpar vibrator wasn\u2019t workin\u2019 for me or<\/em> you, if we\u2019re both being honest here.)<\/p>\n

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More prominently, though, was a loved one\u2019s stage 4 lung cancer. As a minor, my partner was a caregiver or provided end of life care for every parent\/guardian they\u2019ve ever had (mother, the grandparents who raised them, the aunt who took them in as a teen.) This year they had to take on that role again for their brother, and I had to do it for the first time. There were months of suffering that I\u2019m not comfortable publicly ruminating on yet. But it was brutal, even for an already notoriously brutal cancer diagnosis. The screaming only stopped the day he was finally able to die.<\/p>\n

Less prominent yet still distracting was how bad my gender dysphoria\u2019s been in recent years. I officially decided to transition in late 2020, but couldn\u2019t financially afford it. By the time I could (with sacrifices), Florida had enacted SB254<\/a>. Most healthcare facilities stopped providing care for newly transitioning patients; those who kept going were booked out for months, years. My only option became a costlier one: Folx, a telehealth clinic that eventually circumvented Florida\u2019s anti-trans laws by partnering with doctors on the ground. But there was no way I could pay a monthly $40 membership fee on top of other costs. So I waited. And the waiting became more and more painful, even as PCOS<\/a> did miracles<\/em>.<\/p>\n

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The rare times I had extra energy this year, I didn\u2019t want to spend it writing. The rare times I had sex, I didn\u2019t want to slow it down with toy testing. So the blog\u2019s gone untouched. But I\u2019ve still been working.<\/p>\n

A few months ago, Uberrime hired me.<\/p>\n

For those of you who haven\u2019t seen on social media, I\u2019m now the social media and affiliate manager<\/a> for Uberrime Handmade Dildos. (With more than a smidge of website admin thrown in.)<\/p>\n

I met Uberrime\u2019s founder Marco just a few months after launching this blog, back when Uberrime was a one man side gig for an eccentric chef who was dreaming of escaping the sarlacc pit of restaurateuring. We hit it off immediately. Over the years, we became family \u2013 and I got to watch his company grow. It was an exhausting, expensive, seemingly endless grind for him to balance both careers \u2013 but he was able to crawl out of that goddamn pit alive. And then he kept going up. He grew Uberrime into his sole focus, with a small team and a new studio to meet demand.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been my genuine honor to work with<\/em> Uberrime over the years, doing paid consulting, throwing in my two cents on the occasional design, and even working at the Uberrime booth at Sex Down South. It\u2019s always been a private dream of mine to work for<\/em> Uberrime, to put a little more of my soul into a company I believe in both personally and professionally. And now I do.<\/p>\n

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Consequently, I\u2019ve been able to start transitioning. (Folx is worth every penny.) I\u2019ve been able to start paying down credit card debt my partner and I built up while J\u2019s care was the only thing on my partner and I\u2019s minds. I have somewhere steady and financially fruitful to funnel my passion for this industry.<\/p>\n

My job is a lot harder than it sounds, and I have a lot of learning to do. (Oh, the mistakes I have already made..) My personal life \u2013 my whole fucking being<\/em>, honestly \u2013 is still healing. But for the first time in a very, very long time, I can feel my own potential. I\u2019m excited to grow.<\/p>\n

Happy New Years.<\/p>\n

(PS: If you’re a reviewer, influencer, educator, sex worker, etc, please consider signing up for the Uberrime affiliate program<\/a>! I would love to collaborate with you.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lengthy, unexplained hiatuses are pretty common on this blog. As a disabled person who always seems to be going through some kind of shit, I often disappear for months at a time with only a vague tweet or two to mark the absence. But in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9238,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[486,16],"tags":[891,925],"class_list":["post-9233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adventures-in-blogging","category-essays-guides","tag-uberrime-reviews-sales","tag-from-the-heart"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t